My daughter has four children. 3 of the children are from her husband. Her 3rd child is from another father from when she separated from her husband. She and her husband have been married for around 9 years. He has not worked for most of that time. He is a pain pill addict, that I know of. He has another daughter from a prior marriage that he does not see.
They live with my mother and father, who support them. They used to let me have the children on weekends on a regular basis. Then the father, Tully, got it in his head that I was talking about him to the children. I would never do that as I love my grandchildren and I know that they will have a whole lot of heart-ache when they figure out what their dad is. I raised my daughter as a single mother. I never trashed her father to her, because that would have hurt her. However, I have heard him trash my mother in front of the children and I have no doubt that he trashes me in front of the children.
The result of this is that I am no longer able to see my grandchildren without their parents. That means that whenever they come to visit, it is all about their Daddy. When they used to come, we went to Chuck E. Cheese, the park, and did things that children like to do. My grandchildren are 6 months, 2, 4, and 5. Now they never get away from their parents, the yelling, the problems, etc. We took them to SeaWorld, paid for an extra room for the parents, and then had to put up with the Dad coming down from his drugs the next day. The night before he was high and yelling in the restaurant.
We took them to Dallas to the State Fair. We booked rooms at the Anatole. At the Fair, he literally collapsed on the Midway, because he was withdrawing from his drugs. By the time we got to the hotel, he felt well enough to embarrass me by yelling Yahoo! all the way through the hotel lobby.
I feel that we should no longer be blackmailed into providing vacations for the parents, who do not want to provide for their children. However, I do not feel that the children should be made to pay the price.
By the way, this last weekend, when we were there for Thanksgiving, we were celebrating the 2 year olds birthday. My daughter was sick, but the son-in-law stayed in bed all day with her. My mom cooked the meal, I watched the children and baked the cake.
The next morning, I woke up, hearing the baby crying. My daughter was sleeping through it, but he was awake and ignoring it. I got up and went and got the baby.
They have been turned into CPS on more than one occasion, but since they live with my mother, and she was a teacher in the town they live in, they get a pass. I even turned them into APS when he hit my mother, but she protected him and lied about it. She is afraid of what would happen to the children if they moved out.