My daughter is a single mom she is 23 and her son is 7 wks . The father has been stocking her and constantly texting her with threats toward her that he will take the child away and she will never see him again. He set a emergency hearing which they went to on monday. The reason she has not let him or his family have contact with the child is because she has witnessed the mother of the father pass out act violently, stager, and be completely unresponsive because she is addicted to prescription drugs and the father of the baby has a jail record and was recently arrested for drunk driving and is unable to drive. He lives at home with his mother and father and adult brother who has schizophrenia .She tried to included his family when the baby was born and planned to included them in his life [supervised] even though she does not want to have a relationship with the father, but there has been nothing but anger and threats towards her because she refuses to be a part of their family when she tried to pull away from them is when they got out of control . At the hospital she asked him to be present at the birth but the mother was not invited because of that she came to the hospital and demanded to see the baby she made such a uproar that the hospital escorted her out and band her from ever entering the hospital while my daughter and the baby were there they had to place her in a lock down room because of the threats made by the fathers mother to the staff at the hospital. This is just a small amount of craziness that has happened , but the big issue is the result of the hearing on monday the judge gave the father visitation everyday for 4hrs he is allowed to take the child to his house where they chain smoke and because he can't drive his mother is allowed to drive him , he does't have a job shouldn't he be required to spend that time looking for a job and isn't there any protection for a child from a harmful situation I feel like they are waiting for something to happen before the do anything.During the hearing my daughter tried to bring up the whole situation but was told only to tell what had happened in the last week and because she was representing her self was not prepared and able to fully convey how scary and dangerous and unsafe it will be for this child to have unsupervised visits . She tried to get the police to help by asking for a restraining order but the officer said the court would not grant one because she didn't have the right evidence. A text message or verbal threat wouldn't do he would have hold a gun to her head or a knife or some type of action and a witness would have to see it these are the exact words the officer used. So she was forced to let them have the baby today. She brought the baby to their house because she is afraid to have them drive with the baby. When she picked him up he reeked of smoke never had his diaper changed and has a rash .She is forced to do this again everyday and doesn't know what to do . She has a mediation date dec. 15 . Are there no laws to protect the child to allow the full story to be presented fairly. Yes these are two young people who have no business having a child,and because of very bad judgement my daughter got involved with some very bad people , and is trying to take care of it the best she can ,but can not afford an attorney , so she is at the mercy of the court system. She wanted to put the baby up for adoption before he was born only because she knew his life would be difficult because of the father and his family,so she went through an agency and they told her if the father would not relinquish custody they would have to place the baby in foster care for an determined amount of time until they could prove the father unfit, and the father refused to relinquish custody. We could not stomach the baby being left in foster care . We love this child . I don't feel its fair for him to have to go through this because his parents made so many mistakes and because they are poor. I am in no position to hire an attorney and I don't know if that would help .My daughter has always worked and would like to go back to school she doesn't have any criminal record nor has she ever been in any trouble ,she has always been a good kid and maybe a little naive non the less she has really made a mess for herself and her baby. I'm hoping you can give us some advice as to where we can get help or how she can protect her child. Heartbroken Mom and Grandma
State/Country relating to question: California
Hello I am a licensed attorney here to help you with your question, please review my response and do not hesitate to ask for clarification.She needs to take the infant to an ER room or family doctor to document the childs condition, and then stop all visits as it is not in the childs best interest. Once she can document the health hazards the court will stop visitation. I would recomend her hiring an attorney or looking for legal aid becuase 4 hours everyday for visitation of an infant is unheard off, and their must have been something done wrong, this is unfair to the child and mother. Also, make sure the mother files for child support against the father so he knows he has to support the child financially. Furthermore, all the texts the father has sent her should be printed and given to the Judge to show the fathers mental capacity and his charcther, if these texts threaten her, she should go to the police and the Family Court directly and ask for an Order of Protection for her child and herself. She has to state she is afraid of serious bodily harm
10 years experience, AFL-CIO UNION PLUS, UFT LAWYER FOR FAMILY, IMMIGRATION AND CRIMINAL LAW
where does she go for legal aid and how can she make this happen soon because they are forcing her to allow him to see the baby daily . I don't want her to get arrested for not complying with the court order .what do we file to stop this unfairness .If she were to go to the court tomorrow what can she file to stop this and demand a new hearing or some better safer choices. I believe this is wrong something went terrible wrong in court. We need some more exact advice. Can she take the baby to the doctor smelling of smoke and a rash requiring them to state abuse will a doctor do that ?
if the child is in harm the physician can file a complaint, however, if the doctor submits a note or letter stating the child smells of smoke or diaper was not changed and suffered a rash, she should go to the family court and file an emergency custody petition and order of protection against the father, the doctors note is evidence.
Please review the website above, your daughter needs to file an Order to show cause in court the forms are on the website to change the visitation order that is in place.
The list below is the CA legal aid society contact numbers and she be called.
AuburnLegal Services of Northern California Auburn Office (Motherlode Region):XXXXXAuburn, CA 95603 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
BakersfieldGreater Bakersfield Legal Assistance Inc.XXXXXBakersfield, CA 93304 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN
BerkeleyEast Bay Community Law CenterXXXXXBerkeley, CA 94705 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
ChicoLegal Services of Northern California Chico Office (Butte Region):XXXXXChico, CA 95927 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
ComptonCompton Outreach: 725 W. Rosecrans Compton, CA Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNLocated at the Thurgood Marshall Justice Center, serves the residents of Carson (north of the 405 Freeway), Compton, East Compton, West Compton, Cudahy, Hollydale, Huntington Park, Lynwood, Maywood, South Gate, Walnut Park and Willowbrook.
EurekaLegal Services of Northern California Eureka Office (Redwood Region):XXXXXEureka, CA 95502 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN(800)(NNN) NNN-NNNN(Del Norte County toll free)
FresnoFree Legal Aid California Main Office, Fresno: 2014 Tulare, #600 Fresno, CA 93721 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
LompocLegal Aid Foundation of Santa Barbara County 110 S. "C" Street, Suite C Lompoc, CA 93436 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
Long BeachLegal Aid Foundation of Long BeachXXXXX Suite 420 Long Beach, CANNN-NN-NNNNOffice:(NNN) NNN-NNNNService Area: Los Angeles (Greater Long Beach and Los Angeles Harbor areas)
Los AngelesBreak the Cycle - provides free and confidential legal services to young people who have been abused. (Se habla espanol) Los Angeles Office PO Box 64996 Los Angeles, CA 90064 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free (888) 988-TEEN
University of Southern California Legal Clinic Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNProvides representation and pro se assistance to victims of Domestic Violence in the Los Angeles area who have a child with their batterer.
Legal Aid Foundation of Los Angeles 1102 South Crenshaw Boulevard Los Angeles, CANNN-NN-NNNNOffice:(NNN) NNN-NNNN
MercedFree Legal Aid California - Merced, Mariposa, Tuolomne Office: 357 W. Main, #201 Merced, CA 95340 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
NorwalkNorwalk Outreach: 11834 E. Firestone Norwalk, CA Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNServes the residents of Artesia, Bell, Bell Gardens, Bellflower, Cerritos, Downey, Norwalk and Paramount.
OaklandBay Area Legal Aid Central Support OfficeXXXXX 9th Floor. Oakland, CA 94612 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
Law Center for FamiliesXXXXX Suite 300 Oakland, CA 94612 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
Alameda County Regional OfficeXXXXX 11th Floor Oakland, CA 94612 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN
California Indian Legal Services Inc. Main Office:XXXXXSuite 301 Oakland , CANNN-NN-NNNNOffice:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
OxnardChannel Counties Legal Services Association 250 Citrus Grove Lane., Ste 210 P.O. Box 1228 Oxnard, CANNN-NN-NNNNOffice:(NNN) NNN-NNNNService Area: Santa Barbara (southern portion, including cities of Santa Barbara and Goleta), Ventura
PacoimaSan Fernando Valley Neighborhood Legal Services Inc. 13327 Van Nuys Boulevard Pacoima, CANNN-NN-NNNNOffice:(NNN) NNN-NNNNService Area: Los Angeles (San Fernando, Santa Clarita and Antelope Valleys, Glendale, Burbank)
PomonaLegal Services Program for Pasadena and San Gabriel-Pomona Valley 243 E. Mission Blvd. Pomona, CA 91766 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN(909)(NNN) NNN-NNNNService Area: Pasadena and San Gabriel-Pomona Valley.
ReddingLegal Services of Northern California Redding Office (Shasta Region):XXXXXRedding, CA 96001 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN
RichmondContra Costa County OfficeXXXXXRichmond, CA 94801 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
RiversideInland Counties Legal Services Inc.XXXXXSuite 210 Riverside, CA 92507 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
SacramentoLegal Services of Northern California Executive Office: 517 - 12th Street Sacramento, CA 95814 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
Sacramento Office: 515 - 12th Street Sacramento, CA 95814 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
San DiegoLegal Aid Society of San Diego Inc. 110 South Euclid Avenue San Diego, CA 92114 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
San FranciscoCalifornia Rural Legal Assistance Inc.XXXXXSuite 300 San Francisco, CANNN-NN-NNNNOffice:(NNN) NNN-NNNNService Area: Colusa, Imperial, Madera, Monterey (North Coast and Salinas Valley areas), San Benito, San Joaquin, San Luis Obispo, Santa Clara (Gilroy and Morgan Hill areas), Sonoma, Stanislaus, Sutter, Yuba, Kern (northwest portion), Santa Barbara (northern portion including Santa Maria)
Cooperative Restraining Order Clinic Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNOffers legal assistance in applying for Domestic Violence Restraining Orders, including child custody and child support if you have a child with your abuser.
San Francisco OfficeXXXXXSan Francisco, CA 94102 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
San JoseTele-Legal:(NNN) NNN-NNNN(family law Information) Mailing Address: P. O. Box 103 San Jose, CANNN-NN-NNNNService Area: Santa Clara County
Legal Aid Society of Santa Clara County W. XXXXX XXXXX Legal Services Center 480 North First Street (at Empire Street) San Jose, California 95112 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNVoice Mail:(NNN) NNN-NNNN
San MateoSan Mateo County 2287 El Camino Real San Mateo, CA 94403 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
San RafaelMarin County Office 30 North San Pedro Rd. San Rafael, CA 94903 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNN
Santa AnaLegal Aid Main Office: 902 N. Main Street Santa Ana, CA Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNNServes the residents of Costa Mesa, Dana Point, Fountain Valley, Garden Grove, Huntington Beach, Irvine, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Laguna Niguel, Lake Forest, Los Alamitos, Midway City, Mission Viejo, Newport Beach, Orange, San Clemente, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Seal Beach, Stanton, Sunset Beach, Tustin, Villa Park and Westminster.
Santa BarbaraLegal Aid Foundation of Santa Barbara County 301 E. Canon Perdido Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
Santa MariaLegal Aid Foundation of Santa Barbara County 301 S. Miller Street, Suite 116 Santa Maria, CA 93454 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
UkiahLegal Services of Northern California Ukiah Office (Redwood Region): 421 North Oak Street Ukiah, CA 95482(NNN) NNN-NNNN(Client line)(NNN) NNN-NNNN(Client toll free line)(NNN) NNN-NNNN(Attorney line)
VallejoLegal Services of Northern California Vallejo Office (Solano County)XXXXXVallejo, CA 94590 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>
VisaliaFree Legal Aid California - Kings, Tulare Office: 208 W. Main, #U-1 Visalia, CA 93291 IN VISALIA:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNNIN HANFORD:(NNN) NNN-NNNNor Toll Free(NNN) NNN-NNNNService Area: Fresno, Kings, Mariposa, Merced, Tulare, and Tuolumne Counties.
WatsonvilleLegal Aid of the Central CoastXXXXXWatsonville, CA 95076 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNNService Area: Monterey (urban and coastal areas south of Castroville) and Santa Cruz
WoodlandLegal Services of Northern California Woodland Office (Yolo County)XXXXXWoodland, CA 95695 Office:(NNN) NNN-NNNN
As for the threats. What if a lot of them were verbal? The police officer told her that he would have to make an actual attempt to hurt her before they will do anything. She explained that he says things but he told her it sounds like bickering between a couple. That she would have to suck it up and make the best of it because she would have to deal with him for the next 18 years. what can she do?
Verbal threats are not enough, however if the threats were sent by text and she was ever hurt by him that incident should be brought up. The issue with smoking around the infant is serious and that should be addressed in Court.
This visitation has been going on and it was only the first day that the baby came back smelling like smoke. We bagged the outfit and blanket. The father did visitation Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. My daughter drove him over to the fathers house and picked him on these days. Comes Friday and she asked him to meet him but the father says to just keep him for that day. Then comes Saturday and she said that she would meet him again and gave him three hours to show up. The father said that it wouldn't work for him because he didn't have a ride and he cant drive himself cause he got a DUI. In my opinion she gave him plenty of time to meet her. Am I wrong? It was also raining. He said that he could meet her at 4 or 5. That would have him be returned by 8 or 9. She thought that would be to late for the baby to be out and she already had him out of the house too long. The father said that she was breaking the rules when the court papers state that he would have to work around the son's schedule. Is she wrong in any way? Does he have grounds to take her back to court? What can we do at this point?
She should not allow the father to take the child in a car at any time if he had just had a DUI, and if he is late for a visit more than half an hour he should not get it. To have the child return that lat is wrong, and your daughter, should not let him bully you. If the DUI was recent she should go to court and file an emergency motion to stop all visits.
Sorry to keep asking more questions. My daughter went to the court to stop all visitation because of the DUI and they told her that the is still allowed visitation as long as he is not the one driving. It seems at this point there is nothing we can do. Why is it that it seems the law is on the fathers side? My daughter and I cant afford a lawyer and legal aid have not been able to help. We understand that a father has a right to see his child but a four hour visitation everyday for a newborn is unheard of. What should be our next step?
She needs at this point to work with Legal Aid to get visitation reduced, if the father is late by more than 30 minutes end the visitation and tell her to go home. She needs to file a violation ever time the father does something wrong as well.
We had mediation and were agreeing on visitation. The mediator came up with visitation every other day 6 to 8 hours and overnights when parents feel he is ready. We have our court day tomorrow and I don't agree with 8 hour visitations or overnights. I also think there should be a set time for him to pick up our son. I guess what I'm asking is what is a reasonable visitation schedule that I can ask for? I also don't have a car anymore to be able to pick up or drop off my son. And the father has a DUI and lost his license so has to get a ride to pick him up. I am at a loss for words but want to go into court prepared. Please explain all avenues I should take in detail. What steps can I take? I know that we will have to come to an agreement at some point and I just want what is best for our son and for him to have some kind of stability.
At this point you should have the father pick up the child at the mother homes, and allow for the 6 hours per day and see if he follows through, a time for pick up and drop off is important and that should be clear.
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