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LawTalk, Attorney and Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 37394
Experience:  30 years legal experience. I remain current in Family Law through regular continuing education.
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I live in NJ. My husband and I have been married for 10 years.

Resolved Question:

I live in NJ. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have 2 children 5 and 2. I want to leave him because he is verbally and mentally abusive and he has a past record of
assault ( felony from another woman in his 20s). I called the police once on him because he
did grab me once (when he did, I punched him) but never filed the restraining order. I want
to leave him but I know he will not let me take the kids out of the house. He is good to the kids
and I am fine with 50/50 custody. Can I move out and get my own apartment and make sure
that I see the kids every day and night ( with them spending nights at my apartment too) while filing for divorce? What is the best thing to do in this situation? It is unbearable and I don't want anymore fighting in front of my children. Just recently, he went after my mother and was extremely verbally abusive to her in front of my children and told her to get the F*** out of his house because she said that he wasn't helping me with the kids as promised.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  LawTalk replied 6 years ago.
Good morning,

I'm sorry to hear of your dilemma.

Do not make the mistake of moving out and leaving the children in the marital home with your husband. This will give him an advantage in seeking primary custody of the children.

Additionally, the court routinely finds that it is not in the best interests of the children to be moved from the marital residence prior to a divorce/separation.

Because you must live separate and apart from your husband for a period of at least 18 months before you my take a divorce---unless you qualify on fault grounds including such things as adultery, extreme cruelty, voluntary addiction to alcohol/drugs or deviant sexual conduct---you will need to either enter into a Separation Agreement with him which includes child custody, child support, division of marital assets and debts as well as who will remain in the marital home, or apply to the court for an Order of custody, support and property distribution.

If you have any follow up questions, I will be happy to assist you. Even after you Accept my Answer, we can still follow up on this Question thread.

I wish you the best in 2010 and the future.

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