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Category: Family Law
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Experience:  29 years as a family law lawyer .
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I am retired from military, ex and I have 50/50 custody, we

Customer Question

I am retired from military, ex and I have 50/50 custody, we go week on/week off with our 3 year old. I pay child support and included in it is daycare expense. I can and want to be his daycare but ex wife won't allow me to. We do not have right of first refusal in divorce agreement. Do I have a right to be his daycare? Or do I have to continue to pay for something I desire to do myself?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  RayAnswers replied 3 years ago.
Thanks for your question.sure you have right to seek modification of the decree here.To me you are certainly a preferable option and i think the court might agree with you.I see no benefit to paying for child care if you can show you are reliable and able to care for the child.To me a parent is always preferable to strangers

.I think if you would file and seek hearing the court may well agree with you in this situation.You should try here since you feel strongly about it and see it as time that is valuable to be spent together with the child.You should be commended for agreeing to provide loving care for your own child.
RayAnswers, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 29751
Experience: 29 years as a family law lawyer .
RayAnswers and 10 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

We have a hearing next month to change the divorce agreement. I am seeking to have RIght of FIrst Refusal incorporated, then my ex would have to let me watch our son. However, it seems changing the divorce takes a lot. Her lawyers agues that there has not been a material change in circumstances to warrant the change. However, I am now on terminal leave and officially retire 1 Feb 2011. Terminal leave means I have leave saved up so I do not have to work anymore, up to retirement. I'd be happy with the court simoply allowing me to be my son's daycare. Do I have to push for Rught of First Refusal to get this or can I merely ask the court to grant me right to be his daycare. It seems that trying to "change" the divorce requires a much greater burden of proof and effort, even though I think retiring is pretty significant change of circumstances. Would it be less work to get the court to just let me be his daycare, or is it all the same anyway. EIther way, my ex refuses to let me be his daycare, but what is the easiest way to get the court to grant?

Expert:  RayAnswers replied 3 years ago.
You can argue that child should be with you--you are offering to keep him for free.Thats generous and trust me hard for her to get the court to turn down. your offer.Be persistent to me this is so generous and kind.I presonally think a court would be happy you are willing and able to commit to do so and it so benefits the child.She will find it hard to argue against this.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
So, can I make a concurrent arguement? In other words, if the court does not change the divorce agreement by granting the Right of FIrst Refusal, can I at least argue concurently my willingness to at least be his daycare provider. My ex motioned 2 weeks ago for Summary Judgment to dismiss the case, on the grounds that no material change in circumstances exists. WHile the judge said no, and denied their motion, he also stated that my case to change the divorce to add the First Refusal thing was "weak." I can not understand why he thinks me retiring is NOT a material change in circumstance. Perhaps he did not truly grasp the whole retirement agruement on my part. We had depositions 2 months ago, where I told opposing counsel about my upcoming retirement. But it was at the end of my deposition.As far as evidence, the judge so far has only read all the depositions. I have to hope the judge just didn't really see that part, the retirement. Otherwise, if he does not think retirement consititutes material change, I don't know what he thinks does. Or maybe he told us the case was weak to make sure we brought our "A-game" to trial. Either way, if I lose on the Right of First Refusal, can I still argue at the same time and ask to the court to grant me daycare rights, or am I pretty much out of luck if I lose on the RIght of first Refusal part. Of course I want first rights any time my ex can not watch our son even as I would always give he first dibs. But if I can not get the divorce change, I'd be happy with at least being able to be his day care. Can I ask of one, and if the judge doesn't grant, ask for the daycare part in lieu, or is it an all or nothing thing with the court?
Expert:  RayAnswers replied 3 years ago.
I think you can try concurrent argument to see if they will grant it here .Again try it both ways to see if you can prevail.You have nothing to loose by trying it here.

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