You may be able to file for divorce in either state. However, it appears NY would be better for you as it's clear that NY has jurisdiction over your husband whereas NC may not be able to exercise jurisdiction over him. Additionally, NC requires a one-year separation agreement whereas NY permits divorce filing right away.
As to NY, it recently passed a no-fault law. However, it appears you can meet several of the fault requirements as they include abandonment, cruel treatment and the irreparable breakdown of the marriage.
Your original question was very broad, please let me know if there is anything more specific that you need.
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