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No. You are under no obligation to pay anything toward the party she is having for your daughter. She would not have grounds, based on the "extra curricular" agreement you present here.
She has her party and you will have yours.
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Just to clarify. Regardless of extracurricular activites, birtday parties', however large or small, however "for the best interest of the child" expensive, are the sole responsibilities of the Parent that has the physical custody of the child for that day?
Yes. Unless that is specifically set forth as "birthday parties" in an agreement somewhere.