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LADY LAWYER, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 6536
Experience:  Family Law Attorney
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my husband and I are in divorce and fighting for sole custody.

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my husband and I are in divorce and fighting for sole custody. we are in the process of getting a child's representative and evaluation. The war seems like long and rough. What I would like to offer is to give up all the marital assets, including the house. I only want my kid's custody. And he doesn't need to pay child support as long as he agrees to give me the custody. Since he loves his money so much. I like to ask your opinion if I propose that to the court, will that irritate the judge? for me, I don't wanna anything else but my kids. he is fighting for sole custody because of money. He makes much more than I do. Instead of a long and expensive custody battle, letting others decide me and my children's life, i'd rather give up all the money I should have in this marriage, but having my kid with me.


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Would the father have visitation rights in this proposal? Would the father agree to what you are proposing?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
it's just my thoughts. haven't talked to the father. I would allow the visitation for I want my kids to interact with the father. but i don't know if the father would agree. he fights for sole custody because of money. so I give up all the money. I just don't know if I should directly propose to the judge when the day we have pre-trial. I haven't talked to my lawyer yet, would. but I don't want to irritate the judge make her think that i am irrational. my point is that my kids are the most important and my biggest happiness. i want nothing but custody.



I understand, thank you. I do not think this would irritate the judge at all. However, if the father agrees, you guys can easily have this agreement drafted and the Judge would just sign off on it without having to rule on it. As long as the father would get visitation, the rest of what you are proposing would be perfectly legitimate in the eyes of the court. If the father does not agree, the judge could still grant your request if s/he believes it is in the best interest of the children. Please just let me know if you have any more questions. If not, please don't forget to click on the green accept button in the answer box so that I can receive credit for helping you. It is the only way I can receive compensation for my time and it will charge you nothing further to press accept. Thanks so much.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
The only thing I worry is that the judge may think it's not the best interest of the child. because my husband makes much more than I do, financially, after divorce, i am not able to support my kids as the current living standard we have, but my husband can, and sufficiently. because I wanna give up all the money to get sole custody, the judge probably would think that i am not able to provide a good living to the kid, so i am wondering if that type of proposal would be granted. it's obvious that he is fighting for his money, not really cares about the kids. I just don't want to get into a long and rough custody war, for it's not the best interest of my children and I think it's ridiculous that some people who don't know me and my kids going to decide our life in 2-3 hrs. I have no power to change what the procedure is but I can make decisions for my own life.



I can certainly understand that. The judge may indeed not feel that your proposal is in the best interest of the children because of the reasons you stated; however, there is just no way to get around the standard that they are going to judge by. The best thing would be for your husband to agree to this and then just have the judge sign off on the proposal. Generally, the parents are awarded joint custody and the parent that makes the most money would pay child support.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
we all know about child support. it is impossible for us to have joint custody because we don't get along. I guess that my question was , even i gave up all the money, the judge still won't grant me sole custody? because it doesn't matter if my husband agrees it or not, if the judge thinks it's not the best interest of the kid, then NO. but can a judge care about the feelings as a mother?



I did understand your original question and as I mentioned before, it would be best to get your husband to agree to everything and then hopefully, the judge will just sign off on it. If your husband will not agree, you will have to take the issue in front of the judge. While I do not think the judge will be irritated by your proposal, s/he is bound to rule in the best interest of the child. They don't rule on the feelings of the mother or the father. If you cannot keep your kids in the standard of living they are accustomed to, the judge could very well not grant you sole custody with no child support. Generally, parents are granted joint custody--this can be done by the court whether the parents get along or not. If the court feels joint custody and child support is in the best interest of the children, then that is what is going to be ordered. Again, try having your attorney get your husband to agree to what you are proposing before it goes before the judge. This is the BEST way to get what you are asking about.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thank you.

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