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He speaks horribly about me and my husband - tells my kids I don't love them, I am an unfit mother, I don't take care of them and he can do it better. Speaks very horrible about my husband. Tells my kids that i am always mad and always want to fight.
I have tried talking to him, talking to my kids, and we are in counseling with my oldest child who is 11 1/2.
Dear JACUSTOMER - Unfortunately you are doing all you can do. He can say whatever he pleases about his opinion of you or anyone else and you can't stop it. It is a common problem in divorce cases, especially after one party remarries. It is childish and not good behavior however legally he can say what he pleases. Hopefully your kids can understand that you are a good person and will ignore this nonsense.
If I knew how to solve this problem in divorce cases I would be rich beyond my means. You should continue the counseling and impress upon your children that their father is acting very childish but do not do what he is doing and compound the problem.
The only legal way to try to stop this is to file a motion to amend the visitation but I can tell you that the courts hear this complaint all the time and there is little likelihood that any change will be made by the court.