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Brandon M.
Brandon M., Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Attorney experienced in all aspects of family law
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I just today obtained counsel and he is going to file a petition

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I just today obtained counsel and he is going to file a petition for custody of my two children on Friday. I just want a second opinion because I'm concerned about something. The situation is as follows: Back in March 14 I called the police on my wife as she began an argument that was very belligerent and cursing alot. I threatened to call the police if she did not calm down as my daughter was crying hysterically (she's the center of my life). I walked away and she followed barking at me so I called the police.The officer said we needed to spend some time apart and for her to take the children for the day and that I pick them up later since I had a relatives birthday party to attend. I go to pick them up and they are locked in a bedroom in an unsanitary home as is mentioned in the petition. They were at her stepmoms and fathers home which is in a crime ridden area with known gang activity (I have friends that are cops in the area so I know this to be true). I was told to leave and the kids are staying there. I was threatened by the stepmom to "not do anything stupid or take legal action or something would happen to me". I left not knowing what to do plus I have the mentality that it is automatically in moms favor and the father is only good for a paycheck. A week went by and I saw my children every night at that unsanitary household (it is also stated in the petition). After a week she left me with the children for two weeks as she found an apartment 35 miles away so she needed to get it ready. After that we verbally agreed that I would have the kids Friday to Sunday afternoon and Monday into Tuesday. The rest of the time my mom and grandma would watch them as they have done since my daughter was born 3 1/2 years ago and my son was born 10 months ago. We have played "nice" since I had the kids in my household (I have moved back with my parents so we can all be together..we are from Argentina and family unity and life is imperative so I prefer for all of us to be together) for a majority of the time. However, she last week she filed for child support (even though my parents watch her and I provide all the medical, 529, savings and life insurance for the children and she has not contributed a dime) and in NYS it is automatically 25%. Two weeks ago she told me that she was going upstate NY to her cousins graduation. It was on a Friday and is only 3 hrs away. She said she was leaving Thursday and not coming back til Monday which meant I wouldnt see the kids for 2 weeks! I begged her to come back Saturday since the graduation was on a Friday. She told me too bad it's gonna be 2 weeks til you see them again. At that point I told her that now I would seek legal action because it is unfair and I provide everything for my babies and can't bear being away from them.!She cried and begged me not to do so because she can't afford an attorney??!?!We argued for a while until I walked away. She later sent me a text (which in NYS is admissable) that she would either commit suicide or leave the state and/or country with the kids if I filed papers! Regardless I sought out the best Father's right's attorney on Long Island.He is going to file the petition on Friday. However he dropped a bomb on me by stating the following: He advised me to keep the children in my possession (which is over 50% of the time anyway) when she comes to pick them up on Sunday. She has been violent towards me in the past by spitting at me, kicking and even punching me while I NEVER laid a finger on her. I am scared of how she'll react and my attorney said to call the police before hand and let them know we have a court date on July19
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 6 years ago.
Hello there:

The only circumstance where I will advise a client that it is ok to act in contradiction to a child custody order is where it could result in great bodily injury, death, or the children being kidnapped. It seems to me that she has covered all of those bases.

The only thing I wonder about is specifically what your attorney is filing on Friday. Given the seriousness of her threats, if it was my client, I would simultaneously request an emergency, temporary custody order (sometimes called an "ex parte" [pronounced 'ex - par - tay'] order) while the request for a long-term order was pending. There are several reasons that I can contemplate not doing that in any given case, so I am not challenging your attorney's decision... I am just "wondering".

But I see no problem with his advice from legal perspective.

I hope that this helps.
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