Thank you for your question and I look forward to working on your answer. Also, it is important to know that I can only respond to your post and the information contained in it, as I do not know what you know, unless you describe it fully. Also, because you are at this site, you are asking me the question because you want the legal facts, as I see them, even if unfavorable to your situation from a legal perspective. Also, due to site tech reasons, oftentimes I am initially only able to see the first part of your post, so I apologize in advance if I ask a redundant question.
That being said, if you would like me to work on an answer for you, and in order to better assist you, could you please clarify for me, in numbered answers if I ask more than one question:
1. Is there a current custody order? If so, out of what state? What does it say,specifically?
2. Has your ex been paying child support?
3. Why hasn't the biological father seen the child for 2 years?
I look forward to getting to work on this for you. Hang in there!
S. Joy, Legal Expert
Please note: I do not provide legal advice, only legal information; I do not legally represent any JA members, visitors or customers. We do not and will not enjoy an attorney/client relationship. Further communication with me here is an acceptance of this and any information provided by me is with the understanding that you comprehend this and agree.
At times there can be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break. In addition, if it is late at night, EST, and we are between postings, I may go get some shut eye, but I'll be back the next day, so never fear.
OK, I will presume, although you didn't state, that he has not paid for child support. You need to properly oppose his Motion for Custody and in doing so, file (together with) a Cross Motion (sometimes called a Cross Petition) for Custody and Child support. Support your request for official child support on the basis that it is in the best interest of the child to continue to be raised by the mother that has always raised, not the father who has never asked to see him and never sought to financial support the child. Indicate he is telling falsehoods in that you never deprived him of visitation - more accuratesly, he never called to seek same, ever. He just disappeared (if true) after you told him you were pregnant or whatever the case may be. You met your husband when the child was X months old and he has been a wonderful father figure and your child is a very happy child, surrounded by loving mother and stepdad and 2 other siblings with whom he is very close. Explain that you have a nice house and appropriate number of bedrooms, that the pre school your child go to and you little one will be attending next here is superb (if accurate); explain how the neighborhood is nice, etc. Explain that it is the decision of you and your husband to have you stay home and raise the children while he works, until the kids are all of school age, at which time you plan on using their school hours for getting into the workforce yourself. It would likely be inordinately helpful if you were using these years now to prepare for a better future, such as educating yourself, getting your degree (did you know you can get it online? it is hard work, but you can do it in the evenings, etc. Kaplan Univ., Phoenix ,etc.). It is helpful to show that you are setting a great example for your children so they will grow up to be independant and self-sufficient, things that you are striving for yourself despite the different path your life has taken.
You can win this if you put forth all these great reasons why custody is best with you, not the least of which is the fact that the child knows only you. Be sure to avoid saying the father should not have visitation - that will never fly. Only that it should start out slow and easy for the child to be comfortable, and work its way up to something standard overtime, like every other weekend.
Yes, I provided you insight as a person dealing with your problem IN California.
California has jurisdiction of your child, since that is his home state. Case must be filed in CA.
Since he is not on the BC and you were not married, you need to require that he prove paternity, which means he can get a DNA test.
Visitation will have to encompass the long distance. Usually a parent will have to fly with the child to see the other - given your babies tender years, I would urge that the father needs to fly out to visit him for the first few years.
If there is a current case pending, yes, you can't move the child out of the state at this point without permission from the court - however, you may tell the court that due to the military nature of your family, you need an Order allowing moves out of the state when it he is stationed elsewhere. Let the court know that you will keep the dad apprised of any pending moves as soon as they are firm. Since the father is all the way in CT, any visitation would be long distance anyway, so it wouldn't appear that your moves would change the much, and you would of course be willing to do all necessary to facilitate the visitation with the bio father.
Hope this helps to clarify. If it does, please click ACCEPT and follow up if needed after you do so. If you need more detail, please click Reply, not ReList and I will gladly respond. Also, if you exceeded the one question one answer standard, and the expert provided you with answers to your additional questions, BONUS is an appreciated way of saying thank you! This expert's credit proceeds go towards providing volunteer provisions for the disabled. Thank you for helping!
I believe I have answered your question and I hope you a better understanding of your legal issue as a result. As you know, I am only the messenger, not your attorney, nor can I create favorable law if it doesn't exist, so please don't hold it against me if the legal result is not what you wish. ACCEPTING the Answer a so ensures I will be able to assist your with your future legal question. In addition, Positive "FEEDBACK" and BONUSES are also appreciated. If you would like my assistance in the future, just put my name, STEPHANIE JOY, in your title or first sentence of a new post. Please keep in mind that I can only respond to your post and the information contained in it, as I do not know what you know unless you describe it fully. Also, due to site tech reasons, oftentimes I am initially only able to see the first part of your post, so I apologize in advance if it means more interactions between us. At times, there can also be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break, or if it is late at night, I may have to go get some shut eye til morning, but rest assured, I'll be back for you. Thanks
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).