FOR JD 1992
Obviously, posing this question to his attorney, would put him in a position of ethics as he would be potentially privy to strategies, etc. of the other side. We have determined that it would be best to seek legal advise from someone entirely separate from the case. Can one essentially "hire" someone off of this site or are the required to keep communication thru the website? We can have her current incoming mail forwarded basically without her knowledge, but "taking" the account, hell would unleash. He has tried to do everything he can for the last 3 years, but she has never allowed his court ordered visitation. He was originally going to just go back to have his enforced but facing the very really challenge that his children are in a very mentally abusive situation. Not a battle he would ever choose to take on. One better be sure of the legalities of such a choice, that different types of correspondence is usable and that the potential information gained is worth it.
My husband and I offered to pay for him to go back to enforce his rights. We don't have $$ like that, so that should give some insight into the situation and we hired a high caliber attorney We had originally talked about $7k from start to finish with one depo. Clean up the parenting time so it was more specific, taking any ability to manipulate the other out of it and to make some changes the court simply considers the minimum standard. We have gotten nowhere and pretty sure at $7k. I seriously underestimated the contender and we switched to a Parent Evaluation, offerer's to pay, however they will not accept any of the PhDs that we have found to be the most experienced with no ties to either side's firm. So now, he is hauling ass into court on Friday since they filed something that set this quick date so they can try to get the court to pick their Evaluator that has strong ties to their frim (yet we should still pay) and ask to have an attorney appointed to the kids (of course at our expense). Also, keep in mind that we went with an exceptional attorney which means he is really good (NOT shady), she went with the "dark side" whom our attorney says is know for the bullshit. So we got that going for us. So she will be submitting her Affidavit of Petitioner with her 17 reasons why he should loose all rights to his kids. We have at the minimum been privy to current correspondence which scares the shit out of us to see the web spin and the potential of how far she will go. Her own attorney can't stop her. I feel that we have enough emails that she sent to him that prove that she is full of major bullshit and she has grossly interfered with his rights, in addition to proving that essentially the restraining order was bullshit and she used it thought out the process to get what she wanted to the extent of stating that she wouldn't be interested in fixing it unless he was going to sign her offer. But, as things seem to do with her, we now realize that the Parental Evaluation isn't going to do much other than send him packing with a new piece of paper. We know how abusive she was and is to him and now what we are seeing is his 10 year old daughter is in a seriously mentally abusive situation (and his 5 year old boy starting to "act out") and we feel he has no choice but to see if his attorney can file the appropriate papers on Monday that would allow him to seek custody and provide einformation at this hearing that would persuade the court to make her pay for both the attorney and parent evaluation I need to pay someone who is totally disconnected to the case to advise us on the merits of what we have to defend him that has knowledge of what it would take to preside our courts to deem that it would be in the best interest to place the children in the custody of the father. Oregon's recent rulings are moving custody to the non custodial parent when the other has exhibited an inability to cooperate. We already have a few pieces that have come across that we feel would be effective. So do we just use the knowledge to help us and never give our hand or is it strong enoughs for us to take the drastic step of taking this information to the court. If we were to give our hand with what we have, obviously they would "know" so we feel if we are going to go there, might as well go all the way. That would require us to wait until the last possible moment and simply take the account by changing the password. Then pop in there and see what else she has, might be nothing more than we have but I think not. This women scares the hell out of us and if PAS exists, this IS the case. This appears to be the only site that that provides real time access to attorneys.
LOL....Love the Judge comment!
Excellent advise, definitely now programs my perception of what I would potentially have and would most definitely piss the Judge off and totally not worth what his x would bring into his life from that. One of the significant letters that we have in showing her character is from a different attorney representing in a health matter (she likes her attorneys and sues everyone).. So we would have the HIPPA thing added on. Just for your enjoyment, apparently she works at a Hospital and had a conversation with a employee in a doctors offices when she was seeking care. What ever went down on that phone call, lead to the hospital contacting her, letting her know "that while she does work for the Legacy Systems (and probably not much longer), she is banned permanently for seeking services at any of their locations. She had her attorney follow up and ask kindy if they would reconsider that decision as she would like to have access to their facilities and furthermore, "my client has asked me to restate" it was infarct your employee who was entirely rude and she did nothing wrong...LOL...Always good, when asking for a favor, to follow that up with "its your fault anyway". Pretty sure her attorney knew she was a jack ass since the stated it with "she asked me"....basically saying, it ain't me, I told her that wasn't a good idea. We called that one a "win/win" since the attorney probably made $400 bucks to essentially send a worthless letter out and the health care ssytem doesn't have to take her back. The little league also recently refunded her money and told her good luck elsewhere.
It seems that our friend has saved all email correspondence, text messages, recorded some calls between the two of them, and wrttien long notes of events for each day when things were getting the worst, in addition to following up with the councilors and wrote down all their comments. His hand written notes cover a 2 month period that included her filing a restraining order which was based on lies. Infarct, he has emails from her in the week following where she is manipulating him, once again, to come over to the house and take care of chores for her and he tells her to quit calling him to rescue her. That it is bullshit that she filed a restraining order to help her get her way and expects him to come over and fix shit. We also have one where he is again asking her to get rid of the restraining order, which she follow up immediately with her desire to agree on the 5 items that relate to what he is going to pay over the next 67 months. He states that he really needs to deal with the restraining order and get it remove and that he doesn't agree to #5 on the list. the restraining order and can't agree to #5 on her list. She follows up with "I was going to take care of the restraining roder but seems a moot point since you can not agree to #5". There is a ton of that. 1500 entries in all. We are going to justt spread sheet is and see of we can produce a format that woudl produce a easy ready history that will allow you t completely follow the conversaton. With it being in email it is difficult to follow and disjointed. Sow we are going to extract and just put each one in its own file so you just ready their conversations in order as they go down. We also have some email for other people that help tell the story or events that were occuring. We are going to include every single one he has, good or bad for either so it is the entire truth. With what he has saved, it really tells the story and events in totality. If the court took the time to look over, ti tells everything. You can see their emotions, who is hurt and when, I think it will be amazing. And it is a staggering story about her abuse and miss use of the system and her mammoth lies. Everything that she is swearing to in court contridicts her conversations. Unfortunaitely, we have to help him pay to take it all the way and try to gain custody, his children are Jacked up. And at first I could not understand how she could damage the kids so much just to get what she wanted. Then we ended up learining about PAS when doing research and there she was. She truly thinks what she says is right and sees nothing wrong with what she does and has no recognition of the extreme damage to the kids. It is pretty amazing, But also difficult for me to put the spreadsheet together and watch a family go down like this. Wow! How do you think the court will perceive this? The mother also made the dauhter write a note that saiid she "had things to say" which she then gave to her attorney with a note stating that Emma asked her to pass along. We also have the correspondence of her and attorney coming up with this idea. We fear that appointing an attorney is going to put her in an even worse postion because the mother is going to step up the efforts on the daughter in trying to get her to make statements to her attorney that are false. We are going to see if we can express our opions that we feel that she is unable to tell whatshe really feels and that she is mentally abused and would only be subjected to passing along what her mother said and to reconsider allowing the mother, once again, to put her in middle. Will they consider that and take other steps to keep her safe? He also has offers from every person that has ever know his x wife to testify about her if needed but we understand that collateral has very little weight. However, the Judge that was orignally assigned the case was a neighbor and the issues with his x escallated some serious levels and he fully expected one of them to take legal acton towards each other. His x obviously breifiely mentioned they were neighbors so they removed her. We were wondering since she is a judge right next door, would her one "character" opinion of his x hold extra merrit because the is a judge and can you call a judge to be a witness? Apparently one of the biggest issues arose from the judge thowowing the ball down the sidewalk during the weekend days for the dog to fetch. Apparently that was a major issue because they had a baby at this time and no one was allowed t make any noise during this time and she would constantly confront her in a aggessive manner? She also interfeers with every single one of his weekends which amounted to him, if he was lucky, seeing the kids one night or one day, every other weekend and often under a strict schedule which took care of all the items she wanted accomplished. Or he woudl get his week night visit but she require the kids returned bathed and their PJ's which requireed him to go back across town to do that. Then the daily events when she informs him of what she is enrollign the kids in. They are financially sinking. She tells him that she is signing the kids up for a few things that essentially amount ot $2500 . He states that he already can't suppot himself and that they could not put the kids in those programs that year for which she replies that her and the kids are making no adjustments in their life and he needs to go get antoher job. Which he does and then she gets mad because he has to work on a saturday that she wants to go out and tells him she will never offer another "extra" weekend with his attitude. It is like this C O N S T A N T L Y. The house is in closing, he says he would like to come over that evening to finally collect his tools and that he has someone to help remove the thing mounted to the ceiling that helps him life the top of the Bronco off. She replies that she has several new items that she wants done on the house that have priority and him will simply have to wait until he gets him work done. Fruthermore, she will not agree to the tool because
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).