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Ely
Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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My 21 year old son and his 20 year old girlfriend have a six

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My 21 year old son and his 20 year old girlfriend have a six month old son. Until two weeks ago, the three of them were living with my husband and I since the baby was a month old. Her family has been hostile to my son since the pregnancy and forbids my son to enter their house. During the five months they lived with me, the family did not visit once. Now the girlfriend left with my grandson and moved in with her family about 100 miles away. My son is still not allowed to enter their home. She doesn't drive. My son is on unemployment and has limited income. What visitation agreement can be worked out? If he drives up there and takes baby out, they dont have anywhere to go except a local park or restaurant, which means after a couple of hours, the visit would end. If he rents a motel to bring baby to, he can't afford it more than maybe once a month. To bring the baby to our house requires 400 miles of driving to pick him up and bring him back. What can be done in this situation? My son doesn't want his son to lose close contact with him.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
Hello,



My name is XXXXX XXXXX X am one of JustAnswer's attorneys. I'll be helping you resolve your matter today.



One of them needs to file for custody with the local family court. Jurisdiction is in the state where the child has been for the last 6 months, and county for the last 90 days. The Court decides on custody based on the rule of thumb of "best interest of the child." This includes, but is not limited to, general stability of the parent, financial stability, indoctrination of the child in the current school and environment, household condition and living condition of the child, other persons living in the house, etc.



The courts generally do not like to split the custody 50/50 since this is hard on the child – imagine having to move every half a year.



One parent usually becomes the main caretaker (in many states this is called the managing custodian) and the other parent becomes the "weekend" parent (often called the posessory custodian) which is every Thursday, every other weekend, and alternating holidays. The minute points of the custody can either be decided by the parties or the Court, if the parties cannot come to an agreement.



Even if a parent does not get managing custody, they are almost guaranteed the posessory custody unless they have a drug problem, alcohol dependency, or an unsafe home environment. Abuse and or neglect of the child or previous children are an almost automatic bar for even posessory custody, although supervised visitation may be granted by the Court.



The posessory parent pays child support to the managing parent, unless the managing parent declines it. All states have a preset salary percentage calculation for child support, but this can be altered if both parties agree to a lesser or higher amount or do not put child support in the orders all-together - the Court will not care.

When filed, a injunction can also be asked to bring them back ASAP for the duration of the matter.


Best of luck in your matter. I'm here if you need any more clarification or follow up info.

I hope you found my answer helpful, and if so please click on the ORANGE ACCEPT button for my answer. This is the only way for me to be paid for my work. There is no fee for follow up questions should you wish to continue this thread.



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Edited by Eli on 3/1/2010 at 4:05 PM EST
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
this is not a specific answer to the question i asked but rather a canned answer.
Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
You assume that b/c I put it on so fast, but I mixed the custody laws with how to file and personalized it. Sorry, it just works best like this. What specifically do you need to know?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I need to know how visitation can be handled in the situation i described.

  • Girlfriend has moved 100 miles away with child as of two weeks ago
  • She lives with her family who refuses to allow my son into their home
  • Baby is only six months old
  • To bring baby to our home for a weekend requires 400 MILES of driving for drop off and pick up, with my son driving and baby in back seat alone. This sounds very hard on baby and on my son to do on a frequent basis.
  • my son is on unemployment and can;t afford to go to their town and stay in motels on a regular basis. His entire monthly check is $600 and motels cost $100 a night,
  • If he takes six month baby out - what can he really do other than a very brief visit after driving 200 miles roundtrip. We are having bad weather also, even a stroller ride to park may be very brief.
  • Under these circumstances my son is likely to lose the close relationship he has with son
  • Girlfriend doesn't drive.

Would a court do anything to make it easier for my son to visit his child?

 

Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
Is he going to want primary or secondary custody? Just making sure. It sounds like he'll want just secondary.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
probably secondary but if they lived in the same city, he would want to have his son on the days he is not in college (currently Friday- Sunday.) Living 100 miles away is where the practical problems come in.
Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
Like I said, child custody and visitation orders generally where the court finds a modification is "necessary or proper" in the child's best interests.If he lives close to her, and he is the visiting parent, he'd get the child every Thursday, every other weekend, and every other holiday, and then an extended summer stay of about 1.5 months.If he lives that far apart, the visitation would be on HIM to come to the child until the child is old enough to travel (usually around 3-5, when he'd come to get the child and go back with the child). That's right, the visiting parent is responsible for the transport. At long distances, the visitation generally sticks to school holidays (or if not yet in school, holidays of the school district in which the child lives in)( and a 2 month summer visitation. Same 1/2 rotating holidays apply.Like I mentioned earlier - the minute points of the custody can either be decided by the parties or the Court, if the parties cannot come to an agreement.

Best of luck in your matter. I'm here if you need any more clarification or follow up info.



I hope you found my answer helpful, and if so please click on the ORANGE ACCEPT button for my answer. This is the only way for me to get credit for my work. Understand that when you put in your payment info, you still have not paid until you press ACCEPT.



There is no fee for follow up questions should you wish to continue in this thread.



Remember, sometimes the law under which your situation falls does not give you the outcome or the choices you wanted - please understand that this is not the attorney's fault, but the way of circumstance.



There might be a delay between your follow up questions and my answers because I may be helping other clients or taking a break.



Leaving a bonus and positive feedback is not required, but doing so is certainly appreciated!



You can always request me for a future legal consultation through my profile at http://www.justanswer.com/profile.aspx?PF=7286322&FID=7 If you do this, make sure to being the question with “This Question is for Eli…”
















Edited by Eli on 3/1/2010 at 4:31 PM EST
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

If i understand you right, my son isnt allowed to bring baby back to his home 100 miles away until baby is 3-5 years old? Even if girlfriend consents to that?

 

Second, He is FORBIDDEN by her family to enter their home. Would a court do anything to compel them to let him in to visit? If not what do they do if the non-custodial parent has nowhere to go to visit his child in a long distance situation?

Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
Correct - the Judges do not usually allow a baby/toddler to travel long distances UNLESS the custodial mother consents. And you have to admit, that kind of makes sense.Her family can't stop him, and if they do, either her, or THEY, or ALL of them, will be in contempt of Court if they don't allow him to enter to get the child, or otherwise make the visitation impossible. But in most cases, if there is animosity, the father would meet the child at a pre-arranged neutral location, pre-agreed in court, or at that visit, etc.

Best of luck in your matter. I'm here if you need any more clarification or follow up info.



I hope you found my answer helpful, and if so please click on the ORANGE ACCEPT button for my answer. This is the only way for me to get credit for my work. Understand that when you put in your payment info, you still have not paid until you press ACCEPT.



There is no fee for follow up questions should you wish to continue in this thread.



Remember, sometimes the law under which your situation falls does not give you the outcome or the choices you wanted - please understand that this is not the attorney's fault, but the way of circumstance.



There might be a delay between your follow up questions and my answers because I may be helping other clients or taking a break.



Leaving a bonus and positive feedback is not required, but doing so is certainly appreciated!



You can always request me for a future legal consultation through my profile at http://www.justanswer.com/profile.aspx?PF=7286322&FID=7 If you do this, make sure to being the question with “This Question is for Eli…”














Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have a few more questions before closing this out - is there a definition of long distances either by miles or time in car for young babies to be taken by their visiting parent?

Would any of this change if my son went to court to get joint custody?

Could his girlfriend be compelled to move back to our area, where she lived for five months and she was the one to leave with baby?

Expert:  Ely replied 4 years ago.
No problem, and sorry for the wait.There is no "definition" per se. Generally speaking, if it's over 100 miles, long distance visitation is applied (less frequent, longer duration). Less than 100 mi is short distance visitation (more frequent, shorter duration).If your son went to get joint custody, he'd still be either a managing parent or the parent who is visiting. JOINT CUSTODY means that, it does NOT mean 50/50, which rarely ever happens.Yes, his g/f CAN be made to move back. There is something called a "geographic restriction," which can be placed on a parent to prevent them from leaving a county/state. It usually is put into place when the parent has a history of kidnapping the child, or preventing the other parent from exercising their visitation, or threatening to do so. If your son asks, and the Judge agrees, THEN she can be made to move back and be restricted from leaving unless it's for valid reasons (family, work, etc.). However, it all depends on the Judge for that.

Best of luck in your matter. I'm here if you need any more clarification or follow up info.



I hope you found my answer helpful, and if so please click on the ORANGE ACCEPT button for my answer. This is the only way for me to get credit for my work. Understand that when you put in your payment info, you still have not paid until you press ACCEPT.



There is no fee for follow up questions should you wish to continue in this thread.



Remember, sometimes the law under which your situation falls does not give you the outcome or the choices you wanted - please understand that this is not the attorney's fault, but the way of circumstance.



There might be a delay between your follow up questions and my answers because I may be helping other clients or taking a break.



Leaving a bonus and positive feedback is not required, but doing so is certainly appreciated!



You can always request me for a future legal consultation through my profile at http://www.justanswer.com/profile.aspx?PF=7286322&FID=7 If you do this, make sure to being the question with “This Question is for Eli…”














Ely, Counselor at Law
Category: Family Law
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Experience: Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
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