It is going to be up to the plan administrator and plan rules if any of this money can come out early. It sounds like it is not part of that plan, however.
Alternatively, you could seek an alternative method of payment of this right to equitable distribution of the present value by making an agreement with the husband, perhaps accepting less if he can pay you know the present value. You would then need to get that made into an Order by the Judge, that the QDRO be cancelled or amended accordingly.
First things first would be to get your ex to agree to modify this court ordered distribution. Then use that stipulated agreement to get the judge to modifiy the distribution order. You can also speak with the plan administrator and inquires as to what paperwork he/she would need to stay that QDRO. Would an order of the Judge suffice?
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