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lwpat
lwpat, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 25384
Experience:  Practicing family law attorney
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How would I be able to find out if there was misuse of power

Customer Question

How would I be able to find out if there was misuse of power in the legal and church community during my divorce?...my divorce is 2 years past..but I need to know for my own sense of closure..willing to explain in detail..
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  lwpat replied 4 years ago.
You will have to give some details.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

My divorce was finalized January 2007. I was unhappy with my represenation at the time.

I had 3 attorneys..an intrusive father...friends that left me...friends that betrayed me...

an abusive alcoholic husband...his girlfriend who was also seeking a divorce with a shared attorney. with him....family friends on my exhusband's side were not only leading members of the Episcapal Church we attended..but also good enough friends that they spent Christmas Eve dinner with us ..and his parents and sister and all the children..

this influential friend also leads the Trust Company in Knoxville, where the family trusts are housed..which also played into the divorce papers..I signed a quick claim deed losing my home under the impression that i had a family trust..this trust is governed by my father..who is absent and has remarried and has not been available for communication

for two years..finally I own realestate and can't get cooperation from family on the upkeep

and this has to do with my father being trustee..which needs to change..I have tried to stay very close to my church and school through all of this..and raising 2 girls post divorce has been less than favorable for me..I am noting the community bing completely absent and church seems to be redirecting me to another church..so honostly the financial and social losses are profound..I have joint custody..my husband lost his job and works out of our former home...and because my finances are so tight..he ends up being Mr. Mom..and I am over here completely able to take them full time...and have no one here to represent me and no money with wich to get an attorney..

Expert:  lwpat replied 4 years ago.
I understand your situation. The fact that you signed over the deed thinking you had a trust really has nothing to do with your divorce. Most trusts are living trusts which can be changed at any time so you would not be guaranteed any income.

For the real estate you should go ahead and put it on the market since you are having upkeep problems. This is not the best time but I don't see that you have any choice.

It is also not unusual for "friends" and "churches" to take sides and favor one party over another, especially in a small town. If there was any way financially I would advise you to move. Possibly if you are able to have any proceeds from the real estate. Moving is always hard but here I recommend it since you are holding on to the past. You need to make a clean break as soon as you can.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have actually had thoughts in that direction...I am seing a christian counsellor and attending an alternative church where I am doing a book study and casually accepting free counselling..at this point no one is recommending that I move..

 

I have been hit really hard financially and socially as i said..and feel that this may be more of a negative impact than what I can offer my children in the way of positive relationship...

 

What steps would be appropriate in making such a change legally with children involved?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I have an irrevocable trust...and was advised to sign off on my house..but the reality is the house was in both of our names...and the family i was married to simply said that *no*

we did not own the house ...that they loaned it to us...so looking back I feel that this is one of many innapropriate uses of power...the family used social position to get people to do things which hurt me in the divorce..and in the end my ex..lost his job and missed being with his children due to being an alcoholic..and this was a lifelong problem..not one that

suddenly occured due to stress...the politics actually ended up hurting both of us..and

the treatment I endured and the stress i experienced was life threatening and affected the children..I was an outstanding mother..and still am..but the manner in which the divorce was carried out hurt all of us..and the attorneys combined made over 150,000.00..and honostly I am not sure how much of that is traceable..and what is actually truth..I didn't even get all of my thinkgs..and my husband dumped the stuff he didn't want into a storeage unit and left me with a $700.00 bill...this just the tip if the iceburg

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Can you please rspond to the above..my husband has health issues..so I can't see

leaving without some action steps to make it work here..moving is a last resort..

please respond to the above in light of the fact that the rights of the mother have been overlooked and the disparity and social impact has affected me the mother in ways that are unfair to the current governing of children..so I am wondering how tofind some justice or again take legal step appropriate to this situatiom

Expert:  lwpat replied 4 years ago.
If it is an irrevocable trust then eventually you will get some of the proceeds.Here you need to obtain a copy of the trust document and you should also be receiving a yearly accounting.

My concern here is that you are still using the word "husband" and you are still staying at the house. That is sending conflicting messages to the children. You need to separate and move on with your life. Whether there was a misuse of power or not is moot at this point and we are not really talking about legalities. The legal process is complete. Now you need to complete the emotional process. The counselling and a different church are positive steps in the right direction. Ask around and see if any of the curches in your area have what is known as a Stephen Mininstry. At this stage of the process you need a caregiver in addition to the counseling.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

 

As i said before, I now own my own home. My husband lives in our former home.

the children stay with each of us every other week...I need a sense of community and a sence of Justice and a return to normalcy...I do not have contact with my family..and that is good...my children who are my primary responsibility need my community to snap back..so we can pick it back up..it has nothing to do with being attached to my husband..and it has everything to do with living a normal life in my hometown after ...as I see it ...the town did not back me..and they still are not with me...There is no need for Stephens ministry..this is a small gossipy town...I have support in my new church environment..and am looking torward developing a career again..so before I dig down and moveforward I need to know I am going to be working on a team..not oa battlefield..there is no point in that ...my kids would be better off without that...

Expert:  lwpat replied 4 years ago.
I think I have given you all the assistance that I can, my best to you and your children.

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