You need to get your lawyer to set a status conference over your STBX's refusal to move forward. You can allege that she has dealyed the matter beyond the time needed to complete it and that if she wants her attorney to prepare the papers that is fine, but it needs to be done by a date certain.
As to your having no rights, I disagree. You have the right to see your child and maintain the parent-child bond, and your STBX is dmaging that by her delaying tactics. You may ask the judge to set visitation guidelines so that you will have regular access to see your daughter. You may specifically ask for holiday period visitation for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. You may allege that you have not seen your daughter at Christmas for several years, and it is time that you be allowed to do so, even if you are living out of state, as it is in the best interests of the child to spend part of the holiday season with each parent.
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Although it is unusual, your attorney can file a motion without speaking with her attorney, and document in the motion that he has called the other attorney repeatedly (best to list each attempt as much as possible) and left messages without receiving a return call. The motion should point out in detail what the mother is doing to hinder your relationship with your daughter, including the web cam and denial of speaking on her birthday, and the lack of contact at Christmas, and should put it in terms of denial of access to your daughter and it hindering and damaging your relationship. You should not have needed a "reconnection" period, and would not have except for her stalling.
Hopefully, your attorney can persuade the judge's secretary to get the motion before the court on an emergency basis. Perhaps the inclusion of the term "irreparable harm", which is used in petitions for restraining orders, may help, but I can tell you from dealing with judge's assistants/secretaries for almost 29 years that there are no guarantees with such motions being scheduled swiftly.
I hope this helps.
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