Please allow me to go after your points one by one so I can address them properly. Understand that I will be giving you a second opinion of your case, and I may or may not agree with you, or your attorney. However I hope you can take this information for its benefit.
1. Follicle test. Here it is a toss-up on whether or not your attorney is acting properly. It is extremely likely that he attempted to first get a reasonable compromise through mediation with you and your soon to be ex husband. What your attorney probably failed to realize is that you are not attempting to get the hair follicle test as a means to get some sort of an advantage, but as a means to properly protect your child. Since the test is needed for the best interests of the child (to show fitness of the other parent), he should order it.
2. Day care. Here I agree with your attorney. Having you no sign off on the order is not reasonable since you have not yet proven that the other parent is unfit. So far the other party has as much custodial rights as you, and having him visit the child at day care is perfectly legitimate from the eyes of the court.
3. Business expense. Here I do not agree with your attorney, unless the business was solely started with money from your husband. Since the business began with joint funds (if it were), then both parties have an equitable portion of the business as well as subsequent profits.
4. Firing. You can do it at any time. You can contact the attorney's office by phone or by mail (mail preferred) with a "disengagement letter" that would state that the attorney is fired, effectively immediately. The attorney is further instructed to make a copy of the file and cooperate with the next attorney to move the file over. Additionally the attorney is requested to create an itemized bill of his time and refund any remainder of the retainer.
5. Female attorney. That is your prerogative and you can get one in two ways. First, you can contact the local bar association and request a list of local attorneys that specialize in family law
. The upside is that these will be extremely competent attorneys but the downside is that they will be pricey. Second way is to go a site called www.avvo.com and do a search for an attorney. Here you can search by location, specialization, fees, and you can even read past reviews of old clients.
I hope I was able to assist you.
Dimitry Alexander Kaplun, Esq.