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RBinJax
RBinJax, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 731
Experience:  I have handled family law cases in Florida for over 20 years.
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My husband and I both had an affair, i ended up pregnant, and

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My husband and I both had an affair, i ended up pregnant, and 2 months after she was born we find out that she wasnt his, the other man wants to be a part of her life, not a whole lot, but i dont want anything to do with him and want him outta our lives so we can move on. what can i do>
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  RBinJax replied 7 years ago.

The biological father can proceed in court to assert his rights. There is a presumption that a child born in wedlock is the child of the husband, but that can be overcome by genetic testing, and the biological father can seek visitation with the child.

On the other hand, with this comes the obligation to pay child support for the child. When the biological father realizes that being even a little bit of a part of the child's life is going to affect his wallet, he may change his mind and be willing to relinquish his parental rights.

You may want to discuss this with him and let him know that if he is to be a part of the child's life it is going to cost him financially. Let him know that your husband is prepared to treat the child as his if the father will give up his rights. However, if he insists on being a part of the child's life and proceeding forward to establish visitation and is willing to pay support, you are going to be stuck with him as part of your life.

I strongly suggest that you consult with a family law attorney in your area to gain specific advice as to your options, and how the local judges who might hear the case are likely to rule.

I wish I could tell you something happier, but hope that this is helpful. Please click Accept so that I may be credited for my assistance. Thank you and good luck.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
yea we did the home paternity saying it wasnt my husbands. the father of the child doesnt want to do anything legally, he wants to see her when shes free and do the child support too that way... jus pay me and write checks so if it ever has to be brought to court that he has paid child suport.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

yea we did the home paternity saying it wasnt my husbands. the father of the child doesnt want to do anything legally, he wants to see her when shes free and do the child support too that way... jus pay me and write checks so if it ever has to be brought to court he will have proof that he has paid child suport....

Expert:  RBinJax replied 7 years ago.

I do not think it wise to do everything "off the cuff." It may be that his support obligation is higher than what he is paying, and wanting to see her "when she is free" is an invitation to argument and problems. It is far more preferable to have everything set is stone by a judicial order. That way there are guidelines for all to follow and the room for argument is greatly diminished. If you want him out of your life, pushing for a judicial determination may be a good and perfectly legal way to accomplish that wish.

I hope this helps.

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.

what is judicial determination? and what are the required visitation? he agrees that she needs to be with me and i get full custody or sole custody and him visitation. what are the visitation requirements? if we go to court and they say he can see her how many times or hrs or what?

Expert:  RBinJax replied 7 years ago.

Judicial determination simply means that a judge has ruled on the matter and entered an order. I do not have access to the local rules in your area to know if there are visitation guidelines, but usually the baseline is one night during the week and every other weekend after age one. Many jurisdictions do not allow overnight visitation with a child under age one. Also, guidelines are often viewed as a floor, not a ceiling, as to how much time the non-residential parent has with the child, particularly after the child turns one.

If you can reach an agreement with the father as to visitation and support, you can prepare a Joint Motion/Stipulation Establishing Paternity, Support and Visitation acknowledging that he is the father of the child; that you are to have primary residential responsibility for the child; how much support he is to pay and on what schedule (weekly, bi-weekly, etc.) and whether he is to pay you directly or through the clerk's office or other appropriate state agency; and agreeing to a visitation schedule acceptable to both of you. It will need to be signed, witnesses and notarized, and you will have to file it with the clerk's office. It can then be presented to a judge for approval by entry of an order.

Again, this way everyone knows what they are to do, and if they do not, there is a means to enforce the agreement, since it has been approved by a judge.

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