Whether you wait or not is an emotional decision that you have to make. After 23 years of marriage you would likely be entitled to just about 1/2 of all property and assets that have been accumulated throughout the marriage. Child support
is set by state guidelines and is based upon his income. Spousal support
is not set by guidelines and is based upon your need and his ability to pay considering your expenses, length of marriage and your abilty to work. If you get the child, you would get the support payments. If you prove what you have stated, chances are you would get both custody and spousal/child support. As far as the 401K, if and when you are awarded your share of it, it does not have to be immediately withdrawn unless you insist, you can choose to let it sit until he is eligible to collect it and then get your share and thus not suffer any penalty.
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