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Law Educator, Esq.
Law Educator, Esq., Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 110363
Experience:  Experienced attorney: Family law, Estate Law, SS Law etc.
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I am 53,married 23 yrs.Have put up drinking and verbal abuse

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I am 53,married 23 yrs.Have put up drinking and verbal abuse most of this time.Not an enabler,but a cancer survivor,which is the only reason I have not left to this point. We have 2 children ages 19(in college),and one boy 16 . There has never been any "melding" of the marital relationship-and no sex for at least 5 yrs.I have worked parttime, and per diem over the years, as being the only (seemingly) responsible adult regarding the kid's academic,emotional and mental/physical well-being.I want a divorce, but fear I will not be able to support myself very well,as I am not in the shape I once was. He makes me feel we can't get a divorce-is more concerned about having to pay taxes if 401k is disturbed too soon.I don't want to retire with him. I just want PEACE and TRANQUILITY.He has been a poor example to our son-will not re-inforce/support -or initiate ANYdiscipline,homework,chores,consequences etc. I have been trying to wait til the 16 yo graduates HS-Is this wise re ch support,alimony?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Law Educator, Esq. replied 7 years ago.
Whether you wait or not is an emotional decision that you have to make. After 23 years of marriage you would likely be entitled to just about 1/2 of all property and assets that have been accumulated throughout the marriage. Child support is set by state guidelines and is based upon his income. Spousal support is not set by guidelines and is based upon your need and his ability to pay considering your expenses, length of marriage and your abilty to work. If you get the child, you would get the support payments. If you prove what you have stated, chances are you would get both custody and spousal/child support. As far as the 401K, if and when you are awarded your share of it, it does not have to be immediately withdrawn unless you insist, you can choose to let it sit until he is eligible to collect it and then get your share and thus not suffer any penalty.

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