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You do need the consent of the court to move to another state if the ex is not willing to consent. So first, your wife needs to show that it is in the best interests of the child to allow the move; ie, more family around, a new job that will benefit the child, etc. However, it is likely your wife would be ordered to pay additional transportation costs for visitation since she is the one moving away from the father.
She could also file a motion for order to show cause why the father is in violation of the order; ie, not paying child support and visitation (taking the child when he did not have scheduled visitation and not returning the child). This is the first step in having him held in contempt of court and possibly jailed for repeated violations of the court's orders.
She may also want to file a motion to terminate the father's parental rights based on all of the circumstances or a motion to modify visitation to involve only supervised visitation because of his history of drug use and domestic violence. The latter is more likely to be granted.
The order to show cause may be the easiest one to file. Depending on the state you are in, the clerk of the court may have the forms you need or direct you where to get them.
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