It sounds like it is time to visit an attorney and consider filing for a divorce. You are in a long term marriage and are entitled to alimony, an equitable division of marital asses and child support if you keep custody. It is obvious that is the way you are headed so delaying will not be in your best interest.
If I have answered your question, an accept and positive feedback is appreciated. Thanks!!!
You basically have no way to force him to do anything. You can decide to separate and get a temporary order from the court. A spouse has a legal duty of support but to enforce that duty you have to go to court.
Here are the NJ family court forms.
and here is an overview of NJ divorce laws
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).