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Attorney & Mediator
Attorney & Mediator, Lawyer
Category: Family Law
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Experience:  Attorney & Certified Mediator
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I am remarried and living in Alabama with another 4 year old

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I am remarried and living in Alabama with another 4 year old child. My ex and I divorced in NC where he still lives with out 8 year old daughter. When we divorced I was active duty in the navy and he was civilian, since then I have gotten out and he in turn has obtained a high stress government job that takes him out of state on business for days at a time. During his trips he sends our daughter to the neighbor without notifing me of anything. Do you think that I could get our joint custody changed to where I could get primary custody. We currently have joint custody where he has primary and I have secondary. Also since I have moved we have changed our visitation between us and I send him child support monthly even though I am not court ordered to pay anything. What do you think that my chances of changing custody are?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Attorney & Mediator replied 7 years ago.
A change in custody requires a change in the child's current living arrangements which are placing the child in a detrimental situation. Being left for days at a time with the neighbor is definitely a change in circumstance as the court would rather see the child be with one of the parents instead of the neighbor. So you do have a good chance in having the court consider your position. Any changes in custody would have to take place in NC since that is the state which issued the original orders and where the father and child currently live in.

What you voluntarily pay in support is not taken into consideration with regards XXXXX XXXXX cases and they are considered gifts to the child since they are not court ordered. The changes you did as to visitation do help to show that you have had more contact with the child. Further your living situation would also help show that you can provide the stability for the child if these travels by dad are often.

Factors which a court will take into consideration are as follows:

  • Physical, mental, emotional, moral and religious factors,
  • The child’s preference,
  • Each parent’s caretaking ability,
  • Each parent’s home environment,
  • Each parent’s availability to the child,
  • Each parent’s economic situation and potential,
  • The child’s bonding with other siblings, and
  • Other factors that illustrate what is best for the child.


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