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AttorneyKaren, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 371
Experience:  Over 14 years as a Family Law Attorney; Temporary Judge Award (2008)
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Can I do anything about a nursing home that told my father lies and he wont tal

Customer Question

They have told him that I stold all his money. That is not the case, I was paying his and my mothers bills which is what I was told to do by my mother. The nursing home waited until my mother passed away and then started telling him this the very week after she passed. My mother kept telling me that things were going on there that weren't good and if anything ever happen to her to call the police but she wouldn't say what it was until she had more proof. I have many more questions but I need to find out about this one first because the nursing home has the sherrifs dept investigating me and I don't know how I can prove that I was doing what my mother told me to do.   Please help
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  AttorneyKaren replied 7 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your question.

First of all, you may want to change your father's nursing home right away--if they are lying about you, what else are they lying about regarding your father?

Also, you may want to either have your father sign over a Power of Attorney to you so you can legally take care of his legal matters, if your father is of sound mind. If he has issues here, then you may want to file for a conservatorship in which you are appointed over your father's affairs. There would be a paper trail here and everything would be accountable to the court that you are paying for your father's bills.

Lastly, if you believe there is impropriety going on at this nursing home, report them to the state. The state will make an immediate investigation. But, I would suggest that you find another place and remove your dad right away, so they cannot get away with their lies any longer.

Best wishes here,


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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I was the POA and they told him to revoke it so he did and now I am being invesigated. I have most of the paper work for things but my mother was the only person that knew what she told me to do with the money. Now I have no one to back up my story. I also did try to move him out but the socail worker there told him he didn't have to because he was his own person and could make that decision, He looked at me and said he doesn't trust me anymore then he looked at her and asked what do you think I should do. Now he has made his Pastor the POA. I am beside myself I don't know what if anything I can do. My mind is ready to explode. I don't even know if they will let me get the rest of my mothers things from the home.
Expert:  AttorneyKaren replied 7 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your payment to my response.

I would like to ask you a few follow-up questions to help me advise you in this situation.

(1) Is your father fully competent at this time?

(2) Did your mother live in her own home at the time of her passing, or was she at the nursing home also?

(3) If your mother was alive at the time that you received your father's money, she was entitled. as his wife, to do as she pleased with his money--my question is how long was the POA in effect pre your mother's passing and afterwards?

Please advise to these questions so I can assist you further in regards XXXXX XXXXX question.

Thank you very much,


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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you so much for your quick response. My mother was in the nursing home when she passed. My father which is actually my step father and has been for over ten years. He is 91 yrs old. I am not sure if he is fully competent now. He has had problems with remembering things and being confused at times. The social worker said he was when he revoked my poa. He has never worked with his finances my mother took care of everything so he has no clue what was going on. POA paper work was signed over to me about 6 months prior to her passing.
Expert:  AttorneyKaren replied 7 years ago.


Thank you for your payment.

One can only revoke a POA when they are lucid and are of sound mind. It appears that he was not completely of sound mind when he revoked the POA and created a new one for the pastor.

If you feel that your step father is being the victim of undue influence, you need to file for a conservatorship and have you appointed as his conservator. It appears that someone is taking advantage of your step father at your expense.

You have a legal right to your mother's things at this nursing home, and you need to make a demand that they are returned to you immediately.

I think for your protection, you should see an elder law attorney in your jurisdiction that will protect your interests. The sooner you retain your own legal counsel, the better position you will be in.

Hope this helps you.

Best wishes,


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