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NJ FamLaw, Family Law Attorney
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Experience:  Admitted to NJ Bar
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I am considering a divorce. My husband refuses counceling of

Customer Question

I am considering a divorce. My husband refuses counceling of any kind. He is a heart surgeon and earns appr 20-30 thousand per month. I am a nurse but work very little, We have been married for 8 years, no children.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Dave Kennett replied 5 years ago.
HiCustomer Thank you for asking your question on JustAnswer. The other Experts and I are working on your answer. By the way, it would help us to know:
-Could you explain your situation a little more?
What is your question?
Thank you again for trusting us with your problem. Please reply as soon as possible so that we can finish answering your question.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I really need to know he my husband is obigated to pay my legal fees and support me for at least 1/2 length of marraige. We have a nice home in Coronado. Although I know most of the equity that's left after morgages (remodels) is about the amount HE put down on the house, from the sale of his condo. He also owns an airplane, condo (colorado)...yaught....stuff like that. He refuses to sell anything...insisting that I try to work full time to help pay our bills........I work very hard in our home...gardenning, cleaning, ironing, cooking...etc....I'm just confused. He has treated me like a child for so long...I wonder if I'll ever feel strong enough to make it on my own.

 

Can he be made to provide funds immediately? When I move out...I'll have nothing but a car (paid for) my personal belongings, and a $20,000 engagement ring. That it..according to him...everything else is his because he "earned it" even though we were married.

 

Thanks,

Nan

Expert:  NJ FamLaw replied 5 years ago.
You have asked a few questions here, so let me try t address them one at a time:

Alimony -- this is available where there is a marital standard of living which one party cannot achieve post-divorce because of an inability to earn an income level sufficient to live at the former marital standard and the other party has an ability to pay support. In an 8 year marriage, you likely loved a lifestyle that you cannot replicate through your own earnings. For some period of time, alimony would seem like a possibiity in your case. Your ability to work full time is an issue as you say you cannot, he argues you can. Working less than full-time (if legit), increases the support needed by you.

The court can order interim support during the pendency of your case or order him to maintain the status quo until final judgment, which brings up the rhetorical question of why would you leave if you have nothing and heis taking care of all the bills.

Distribution of assets -- assets acquired during the marriage by one, or both parties, from their work efforts, are generally marital assets subject to distribution. The marital home is subject to distribution. He has a claim that the down payment on the home was his before marriage property - however, that was 8 years ago and courts may not give him 1000% credit for that premarital component. All of the mortgage payments during the marriage are marital payments providing you with equity in the residence. Same for other assets.

Legal fees - you can make an application to the court for counsel fees and the court may grant it. However, the court might also look at how much in assets you are getting in the divorce and decide you can pay your own. If you have a joint credit card, put counsel fees onthat as the debt will have to be allocatedat the time of the divorce.

With your asset scenario and his income level, you have to get a legal consult on your case to make smart decisions moving forward, before you take action.

Good luck.
NJ FamLaw, Family Law Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 517
Experience: Admitted to NJ Bar
NJ FamLaw and 9 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

It's me again. I just found this site by accident. I'm amazing that I am reading this.

Well I'm still married...9 years now. I do have another question to ask.

 

My health has declined.....especially mentally. Being put down every day makes it worse. I'm being treated by a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, and have been on powerfull medications by my Liver specialist for HCV (chronic hepatitis C virus) My treatment lasted 48 weeks....lost my hair, sever depression, retinal henorrhages are some of the side effects. I am still very weak and the verbal and emotional abuse is really takig a toll.

All my friend who know him think I should leave and although I want to most of the time, I feel so dependent on him. He has never allowing me to have any joint accounts, when we bought the house 9 years ago he persuaded me to sign a Quick Claim Deed. I' have to ask mor any money and get a lecture if there is even I spoon in the sink. Ijust don't have the strength to leave .....He says I am mentally ill and disfuctional and will never be able to live a productive life. Basically he's like a father He absolutly refuses to go get counseling. I know all of this info is for a shrink...not an attorney. But I thought this could help. My doctors tell me I prob will not be able to work full time again. I sound like a real winner!

I just want to try a separation...he refuses to do that. So I would have to file for divorce...once I go there I can't turn back. I have no money and we have a lot of debt.

If I could wait one more year to leave then we would have been married ten years. would that make a difference in the amount or length of time I could get support? California laws a complicated.

SOOO sorry for the long ramble.

Any advice would be very appreciated.

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