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Rose Zapor
Rose Zapor, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 81
Experience:  Ten years as a Family Lawyer, Published author.
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Me and my husband got into an argument because he was going

Customer Question

Me and my husband got into an argument because he was going to teach private dance lessons while me and my 2 1/2 year old spent the night vomiting. I was shocked and told him I am going out. I went to the supermarket next to home to get chicken for the soup my daughter likes when sick. As soon as I got there he calls and tell me he left the house and he is on the highway and I should get back home then hung up. I text him "I hope you are not serious or am calling the cops". I drove home to find the garage door open, 2 of the inside doors were unlocked, my 1 year old in here crib where I left her, and my 2 1/2 was in the master bath looking for us!!! I left between 1 - 1:15 p.m., he calls at 1:25 p.m. then I was home around 1:38 p.m..   I can't believe what he did and I do not trust him anymore so I called the Domestic Violence Hotline and they told me to call 911 to report child neglect. I did. They took the report and said will call me in the morning for further information. what to do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Rose Zapor replied 5 years ago.
Dear Mom:

What you did in reporting your husband was correct - he neglected the children and put them in danger. However, you may have an unintended consequence if social services becomes involved. They will look at the entire situation and could say that you left the children with an unreliable person and so you are at fault as well. They will probably not take the children because they are not in immediate danger.

The bigger problem is that you and your husband are not able to discuss the best interests of your children without fighting and forcing the other person to take a stand. For instance, in our area, there are several grocery stores that will deliver. Even if your husband was being unreasonable - which he was - was there not another way that you could have arranged for the groceries? HOw late was he going to be gone?

Don't get me wrong - what he did was WRONG. I am just trying to get you to explore the possibility that there might have been other choices you could have made to keep the situation from escalating.

I agree that you are right not to trust him. Leaving two babies alone in a house is unconscionable. A job is never more important than the safety of the children. You have a choice to make - 1) file for divorce or 2) get family counseling immediately. I would also recommend that you and your husband look into a class called Parenting with Love and Logic.

Good Luck,

Rose

_______________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer --- There is no attorney/client privilege created by this exchange and the answer being provided is informational only and does not constitute legal advice.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I never imagined he would leave them. When can you call a husband and father unreliable? before or after an incident? What will happen if it goes to court?
Expert:  Rose Zapor replied 5 years ago.
When it comes to very small children, it is my philosophy that adults only get "one bite of the apple." That is why I suggested that perhaps you and your husband might investigate the Parenting with Love and Logic classes. This may be an isolated incident - I hope so. But I would treat this as a red flag that needs to be addressed immediately before something more tragic were to happen.

If this were to go to court (as a result of the police report), your husband would probably get probation and the order to take some anger management and parenting classes. The love and logic classes would satisfy this. It might not go to court if there have been no other incidents. The DA might just look on this an an isolated incident and not take any further action.

Good Luck,

Rose

_______________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer --- There is no attorney/client privilege created by this exchange and the answer being provided is informational only and does not constitute legal advice.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
The officer talked about protective order. Is it applicable in my case?
Expert:  Rose Zapor replied 5 years ago.
Yes, it is in order to have an enforceable order in all 50 states under the Parental Kidnaping Prevention Act.

Good Luck,
Rose
Rose Zapor, Family Lawyer
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 81
Experience: Ten years as a Family Lawyer, Published author.
Rose Zapor and 7 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Dear Rose, no progress in the case yet. It has been a month today. The child protective agent keeps telling me they are trying to go to court but it is taking longer because when the agent interviewed my husband he told them that I have postpartum depression and that he only moved the car to the back side of the house and he left after he saw me coming back. The agent tells me he believes me. Since what happened my husband has been very aggressive with me, forced me to have sex with him twice and I refused, calling me names, not giving money, and calling me names. He has a hateful look in his eyes like I never seen before. I want a divorce. I fear what will happen when I leave with the kids. Should I keep him involved or just leave and let the legal system involved. I am a peaceful person and would like things to go smoothly but he is not cooperating. What should I do to protect myself and kids? he seems to be willing to lie and deceive to get what he wants. Also do I need a lawyer if he goes to court and I am called to testify?
Expert:  Rose Zapor replied 5 years ago.
Dear Mom:

Please take the children immediately when you read this and go to a women's protective shelter. They will be able to counsel you and help you find counsel. Forced sex, even with a spouse, is rape in most states. This is a dangerous man. Please leave. Go to relatives, friends, a shelter - any where that is safe and stay there until you are protected by law.
Rose
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I need a lawyer by my side. if I leave to a hotel tonight should I call the police and let them know before or after?   
Expert:  Rose Zapor replied 5 years ago.
Please call the police before and ask them to do periodic checks on your safety until you can get to a lawyer or a safe house in the morning.
Rose.
Please let me know how you are doing.

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Rose Zapor
Rose Zapor
Attorney
80 Satisfied Customers
Ten years as a Family Lawyer, Published author.