Family Law Questions? Ask a Family Lawyer Online.
Thank you for your question and I look forward to assisting you. That being said...
In my opinion, you need to nip this bad behavior on fiancee's part, and that of his parents, in the bud. You are the mother, period, end of story. And their desire to keep you away while they take a visit is horrendous! And if you are thinking of marrying this man, I would think twice - he is clearly completely disrespecting you and also not a partner. Under these circumstances, when you have adverse extended family members seeking to separate you from your child so that they can clearly NOT stick to her diet (breastmilk is absolutely, undisputedly among experts, the best thing for your child AND understood by the Courts to be such) - and lest face it, they don't like you or respect you, and I suspect your fiance is partially, at least, to blame. I would play hardball - I would not let them see my child without me, and given their poor attitude, I would likely welcome them for a brief visit to my home but I would not even want to go to theirs. If they want to see the child, allow them to visit :)
But this is actually more frightening than that. I sense that they are hoping you will not be marrying their son and given their complete disrespect for your parentage (and your fiancee's ridiculous attitude), I would start protecting myself for future custodial battle - the writing is on the wall. And your fiance clearly hops to their "jump". I would not share this new knowledge with the fiancee! You will lose your upper hand - your upper hand right now is your ability to accumulate evidence without him hiding it. First, make sure to continue breastfeeding, bottle or other. Make sure to be unable to accumulate any great excess (i.e you don't want tons in the freezer that will last days or weeks if you are can't be with your child) - make sure that you are simply not able to produce enough to "get ahead'. DO NOT share this with anyone. My thought here (incidentally I too have a 4 month old, soon to be 5 months, but he is a boy, and I too pumped) is to make sure you have the legal upper hand for 1-2 years at least with regard to not being forced to be away from your very young child more than a couple of hours...this way you can likely win any legal battle in that regard. Woman, you have total say, so DON'T hand that over to the father or his parents, god forbid. And you really have to get rid of the father in terms of marrying him - he is so NOT on your team, and I dare say (after discussing this with my male legal colleague) that he, given his threats in particular, is looking to fight for custody, knowing you two will break up. But you have the opportunity to prepare in advance for this likelihood. Take it! And show him the abundance of documentatin showing the benefits of breastfeeding for a year, to buy you time to NOT show your cards while not allowing your child to be out of your custody. My fear is also that he may not return her, and then you have a battle. I also recommend, under these crazy circumstances, that you consult with a family attorney/custody in your locality (but not so local that the secretary who knows you might let it slip that you were in the office), on the sly, for an hour or so to get some input. I feel strongly you need to be proactively protective of yourself and your daughter, not that your fiance (ugh) is a danger, but because I sense he will seek to take her via custody.
Hope this helps to clarify.
I believe I have answered your question and I hope you a better understanding of your legal issue as a result. As you know, I am only the messenger and can not create favorable law if it doesn't exist, so please don't hold it against me if the legal result is not what you wish. If your question was in fact answered appropriately please click the GREEN "ACCEPT" button NOW, in order that it be recognized as such and I receive credit for my work from the company. This will not cost you anything, if you already deposited to the company for this service. Your promptness is greatly appreciated. In addition, Positive "FEEDBACK" and BONUSES are also appreciated. If you need additional related follow up on this particular question afterwards, don't hesitate to Reply and I'm happy to help you. And if you would like my assistance in the future, just put my name, STEPHANIE JOY, in your title or first sentence of post. Please keep in mind that I can only respond to your post and the information contained in it, as I do not know what you know unless you describe it fully. Also, due to site tech reasons, oftentimes I am initially only able to see the first part of your post, so I apologize in advance if it means more interactions between us. At times, there can also be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break, or if it is late at night, I may have to go get some shut eye til morning, but rest assured, I'll be back for you. Thanks!
My Standard and Required Legal Disclaimer. The information given by me here is not legal advice. You should not and may not rely on anything on this website as legal advice and you agree that the nominal price you may pay for information here clearly does not pay for any legal advice. I am neither establishing nor accepting an attorney-client relationship with you. You must hire an attorney in your state as a matter of law, in order to receive legal advise and attorney/client relationship and rights. I do not claim to be licensed to practice in the state where this information is being provided or whose law would apply, if any. My licensing credentials are noted in my profile, which you have full access to. As law is always changing, you are recommended to speak with the appropriate legal counsel for accurate and complete information. Thank you and have a great day.
Thank you for time in responding!
I do work and he is planning on picking her up while my mother is taking care of her. He feels that since my side of the family (my mom babysits her) is seeing her so much, then his family needs to catch up!(for lack of better words) I have mentioned that it is ok for "us" to visit her or for them to come visit the baby, but they want it under their terms. How can I document this evidence? (Him trying to take her without me being there!)
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).