You will need to file a "Motion to Change/Modify Custody/Visitation" and in the motion you would need to state you are asking the court to change the visitation/custody order to eliminate forced visitation as it is against the wishes of the child. You would also state in the motion that the visitation is not in the best interests of the child based upon the girlfriend trying to kill herself in front of the child. As an alternative you would ask for the court to impose supervised visitation
and not allow the girlfriend to be present.
The courts "may" consider the wishes of the child as one of the grounds for changing/modifying custody/visitation and, while there is no set age, the courts consider the maturity level/educational level of the child and the reasons the child does not want visitation (generally the age is about 12-13 when the courts begin to consider the wishes of the child).
Title your "letter" Motion to Change/Modify Custody/Visitation and then list all of the reasons I discussed above. Then sign the document and have it notarized and then send him a copy and file the original with the clerk of the family court to set it for a hearing. Make sure you put the case name and number at the top of your document.
You can also bring it to legal aid for assistance and review and they should be able to at least make sure it is in proper form. If not, try the local abused children's group since they have attorneys available to assist as well.
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