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AlexiaEsq.
AlexiaEsq., Managing Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 11782
Experience:  19+ Years of Legal Practice in Family law matters.
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Is there any way for me to fight for my children if I keep

Customer Question

Is there any way for me to fight for my children if I keep my boyfriend around? They say he is a potential threat to my children. My children have all stated they are not afraid of him and have no problems with him being around. My children are in my sisters custody right now. I need to know for sure can they sever my rights as a parent to my children if I stay with him or will it just be harder to prove for them to come home? My court appointed lawyer has stated that there is no actual proof of anything its just allegations so should I bring it to trial and fight for him and my children?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 5 years ago.

Dear Customer,

 

Thank you for your question and I look forward to assisting you. Please keep in mind that I can only respond to your post and the information contained in it, as I do not know what you know unless you describe it fully. Also, due to site tech reasons, oftentimes I am initially only able to see the first part of your post, so I apologize in advance if it means more interactions between us. Also, oftentimes there are future facts that are as yet undetermined in your matter, that can and must leave some areas of information provided by me broad in nature. However, don't hesitate to ask for clarification if needed! At times, there can also be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break. That being said...

 

Yes, you can still fight for your children with your boyfriend around. However, apparently "they" (protective services?) have a belief about your boyfriend that he is a potential danger to your children. Do you know why they believe this? If so, and if you know it to be invalid and untrue, you may want to try to prove that. If what they say or fear is true, it is likely that while you can fight for your children to be with you, you are less likely to win. There will also be an added strike against you if it appears that you are putting your children second in importance to your boyfriend (i.e. you are willing to let them live elsewhere rather than let your boyfriend live elsewhere or allow him to associate with the children), because the court's want to see a parent who puts their children's interests as the only top priority.

 

They will likely not sever your rights as a parent based on this alone but keep in mind there are NO guarantees when children are involved. (For instance, what if there is a family/person that wants to give the children a solid family life more than you wish to, via adoption?).

 

Your lawyer is right in that, particularly if the statements about the boyfriend are only unproven allegations, you have more of a chance of winning custody then if those allegations were proven. However, if there is any supportive evidence of the allegations, even testimony of witnesses, your case is weakened. You may want to present evidence of all of the good qualities in your boyfriend, ie. good worker, solid citizen, clean record, close with his own family, well-liked by the kids, etc. - it will help show that the allegations are likely to be false.

 

Good luck! Let me know if anything is not clear.

 

------------------

I believe I have answered your question and I hope you a better understanding of your legal issue as a result. If so, please click the GREEN "ACCEPT" button NOW, in order that it be recognized as such and I receive credit for same from the company. Your promptness is greatly appreciated. In addition, Positive "FEEDBACK" and BONUSES are also appreciated. If you need additional related follow up on this particular question afterwards, don't hesitate to Reply. And if you would like my assistance in the future, just put my name, STEPHANIE JOY, in your title or first sentence of post. Thanks!

 

Sincerely,

 

Stephanie Joy

 

Please note: A times there can be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break. In addition, if it is late at night, EST, and we are between postings, I may go get some shut eye, but I'll be back the next day, so never fear.

Legal Disclaimer. The information given by me here is not legal advice. You should not and may not rely on anything on this website as legal advice and you agree that the nominal price you may pay for information here clearly does not pay for any legal advice. I am neither establishing nor accepting an attorney-client relationship with you. The only method of gaining an attorney/client relationship with me is via a retainer and fee agreement at my standard billable hour rate of $275.00, which is not offered via this site. I am providing only research, resources, opinion and information for you to be informed and educated about your particular needs and my answer is limited to the facts presented with the understanding that you will do your proper due diligence and appropriate follow up if needed. I do not provide general or specific legal advice on this site. I also do not claim to be licensed to practice in the state where this information is being provided or state whose law would apply, if any. My licensing credentials are noted in my profile, which you have full access to. I strive to provide quality information, but I make no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the information contained in or linked herein and its associated sites. As law is always changing, you are recommended to speak with the appropriate legal counsel for accurate and complete information. Thank you and have a great day.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes, he has a domestic violence past. Back in 2003 he spent 3 1/2 years in prison for breaking his common law wife's arm. Anyway they are saying that he broke a car windown with me and my daughter in it. The story behind that is we had been arguing that day and when we went to Wichita which is a town 30 miles from here. We were arguing and because we were arguing I decided to get out of the car and we were about 3 miles out of town and I pulled the car over and told him to take the car home because we were arguing and I would have a friend pick me up. Anyway early that day he was working on the car and was trying to get the car ready so we could make the trip and the window had slipped off the track and wouldn't roll up or down. So he couldn't get it to work he shut the door and the window busted back in our backyard which we told the cops thats were it was. So would that be hard to prove for clear and convincing evidence. My kids also said they would get on the stand and say that wanted to come home and they didn't care if he was there, so would that help the situation to?
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 5 years ago.

His violent history on another person (his ex) will be a tough one to mitigate. Also, there must have been a statement by someone (a witness) regarding another story about the broken window, other wise protective services wouldn't have known about it and wouldn't believe he did it if he didn't. It is not clear to me why the cops were called at all?

 

The judge, may consider (his discretion) the children's opinin, but will likely not consider the children's opinion too much, considering children often don't understand that someone can be dangerous even if they (the children) have yet to witness. This is not the type of situation where it is the father of the children and if the children are old enough (like, teenaged), their choice in which parent to live with becomes relevant.

---

 

Sincerely,

 

Stephanie Joy

 

Please note: A times there can be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break. In addition, if it is late at night, EST, and we are between postings, I may go get some shut eye, but I'll be back, so never fear. On Saturday, there will be greater gaps in time due to scheduling, for any needed follow up, but rest assured, by day's end it will be done.

 

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Okay the reason the cops were called is because when me and my friend got back to the house she started packing his belongings so when he returned they started yelling and fighting in the house and then my friend started picking up his belongings and throwing them around the house, she also started pushing and shoving on him which he did notthing to her in return. He left to call the police and when he left my friend left as well as long with stealing his computer out of our home. When the police showed up they found she was the aggresor in the situation and we explained the window in that incident because she alleged then that the window was broke with us in the car. She was also charged with theft for the computer. I also have a witness about when the window was broke because a friend of my boyfriend was there working on the car with him.

So straight forward what would happen if I fought with him. I understand it will be harder but if I fight with him will they sever my rights as a parent and how long do you think it will take for my children to come home. My classes have started and we are going to enroll my boyfriend in the classes as well, parenting, child parent relations and drug and alcohol evaluation.

Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 5 years ago.

Hi Customer,

 

Again, as noted above, although they may not allow you custody of your children based on his criminal record, I don't forsee the authorities severing your parental rights, particularly if you are financially supporting your children (i.e. paying child support to the person caring for them) and visiting with them consistently. If there is no ORDER for child support, make sure when you do send moneys on a regular and ontime basis, that you do so by check where you can have proof for later that you have been doing so (i.e. cancelled checks!). The classes are a positive thing, as is your boyfriend choosing to participate in any productive type of class. With stellar behavior on both your parts, and avoiding such loose-cannon 'friends' as the one who stole computer (the courts do NOT like to see drama, when children are involved), perhaps in a year or two you can get your children back. I would try in 1 year - but you really have to make sure there are not need for cops to be at the house, etc. This latest incident with the friend and the fight did not help the cause. Remember the phrase "guilt by association." Of course, the best way to ensure you get your kids back to to show that they are more important to you than your boyfriend - by putting him first continuously here, it is an ongoing statement that the children are not the first priority. This is so even if your boyfriend is being unfairly categorized, b/c there is an expectation that a fit parent always puts the children first. Please consider it if you want your children sooner rather than later.

 

Hope this helps!

 

Sincerely,

 

Stephanie Joy

 

Please note: A times there can be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break. In addition, if it is late at night, EST, and we are between postings, I may go get some shut eye, but I'll be back, so never fear. On Saturday, there will be greater gaps in time due to scheduling, for any needed follow up, but rest assured, by day's end it will be done.

 

 

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Okay thank you, XXXXX XXXXX I chose to stay away from him and have no more contact with him because my children are my first priority since their father past away 4 years ago, how long will it take to get my children home with out him being there? My disposition hearing is for December 17th and so far my kids attorney (guardian ad litem) is with the kids coming home as long as he is not in the picture and I continue to go to classess.
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 5 years ago.

There is no law defining a time period, as it all depends on if you establish that it is in the best interests of the children - the fact that you have the GAL on your side is excellent! You say your hearing is on 12/17, if you win (and it seems likely if you abide by the conditions) I think you would have them home by Christmas, unless any unsavory facts come to light, which I doubt.

 

Good luck and I hopy you have a very wonderful holiday with your children, who need their mom, particularly since they no longer have their dad.

 

I hope you have found this additional information informative and/or helpful. If so, please click the GREEN "ACCEPT" button NOW, on 1 or more than 1 answers, in order that it be recognized as such and I receive credit for same from the company for the time and effort. Your promptness is greatly appreciated. In addition, Positive "FEEDBACK" and BONUSES are also appreciated, particularly when the customer included multiple questions in their single post and multiple answers and interaction were provided by the expert. If you need additional related follow up on this particular question afterwards, don't hesitate. And if you would like my assistance in the future, just put my name, STEPHANIE JOY, in your title or first sentence of post. Thanks!

 

Sincerely,

 

Stephanie Joy

AlexiaEsq., Managing Attorney
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 11782
Experience: 19+ Years of Legal Practice in Family law matters.
AlexiaEsq. and 8 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I'm sorry I need to ask you another question. I had my children taken from me because they said the man I was dating was dangerous. Well I got thru my disposition and they still say I have to stay away from him. Can I appeal the decision now? If I did I know my lawyer would drop my case but I know nothing was done like they said it was done. My court appointed attorney won't fight for me I don't feel and I know this man did nothing wrong.
Expert:  AlexiaEsq. replied 5 years ago.

Yes, you knew the requirement was that the boyfriend no longer be in the picture. If you didn't fulfill that condition satisfactorily, they wouldn't have given your kids back to you. You don't mention if you got rid of him and if you got your kids back.

 

However, you seem to be asking if he can come back now. Clearly the answer is no, as they consider him dangerous. He has already broken a woman's arm, has gone to prison for 3 1/2 years, and has a history of domestic violence. Their job is to look out first and foremost for the safety of the children, and it is generally not considered extremely safe for children to be around violent people.

 

I'm not sure what decision you are tring to appeal, since you didn't tell me the results. But sure, you can appeal. I don't foresee a win here, at all, but you can try.

 

I'm also confused when you say this man did nothing wrong. You already told me he broke a loved one's arm in anger, and let's face it, that type of violence does not happen overnight...and as a stand-alone incident, in all likelihood. You also said he enjoyed a 3 1/2 year visit in prison AND he has a history of DV. I consider this 'wrong' behavior' don't you? Also, I'm a bit confused on your pressing the issue concerning him. If you want your kids back, there is no question, you shouldn't be fighting for a relationship with him, as it shows that getting your kids back is not your priority, that you're still putting your want of him before your want of them. Even if he was 100% innocent, framed, perfect guy, (which you admit he is no) if your kids do come first, you would say to him, "sorry, I love ya, but I have to ensure I get my kids back so I can take care of them. The law says I will lose them if I hang with you, therefore, we are over." Get over him, move on, there are more fish in the sea without his baggage - you need to work on getting your family together and put romance aside for the time being - or else you could risk losing your family forever. Not doing so is a definite sign to child services that you are not ready to put your children above all else, which is our duty as a parent.

 

 

Incidentally, if you do your homework, you can likely file the appeal without an attorney. Takes lots of homework though, and trips to the county courthouse library.

 

Good luck, I hope you are able to reunite with your family.

 

I believe I have answered your additional questions and I hope you a better understanding of your legal issue as a result. As you know, I am only the messenger and can not create favorable law if it doesn't exist, so please don't hold it against me if the legal result is not what you wish. If your question was in fact answered appropriately please click the GREEN "ACCEPT" button NOW, in order that it be recognized as such and I receive credit for my time and work from the company. Your promptness is greatly appreciated. In addition, Positive "FEEDBACK" and BONUSES are also appreciated. If you need additional related follow up on this particular question afterwards, don't hesitate to Reply and I'm happy to help you. And if you would like my assistance in the future, just put my name, STEPHANIE JOY, in your title or first sentence of post. Thanks!

Sincerely,

Stephanie O. Joy, JA Legal Expert

My Standard and Required Legal Disclaimer. The information given by me here is not legal advice. You should not and may not rely on anything on this website as legal advice and you agree that the nominal price you may pay for information here clearly does not pay for any legal advice. I am neither establishing nor accepting an attorney-client relationship with you. You must hire an attorney in your state as a matter of law, in order to receive legal advise and attorney/client relationship and rights. I do not claim to be licensed to practice in the state where this information is being provided or whose law would apply, if any. My licensing credentials are noted in my profile, which you have full access to. As law is always changing, you are recommended to speak with the appropriate legal counsel for accurate and complete information. Thank you and have a great day.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I never said he enjoyed the time in prison. He felt bad for what he did breakig the girls arm 6 years ago. He has totally changed his life around. He went thru DV classes, anger management and is working and staying out of trouble. Yes, I still care about him. When I say that he is innocent, I mean he is innocent of what they accused him of doing to my children. I have witnesses and proof that these things didn't happen but I couldn't ever get my attorney to fight the petition. Thats what I'm wanting to appeal is that the court found my kids in need of care because of him because he didn't do the things they said he did. I recently found out it was my family who kept calling SRS and telling them things and when my family came over and talked to me about the situation they realized they made a mistake and are going to write the prosecutor about the situation of my kids coming home. They are not home yet. Thats why I want to appeal the court decision because my family realizes they messed up and nothing happened so he can be free of this crap that my family put him thru because he did have a past, which is no reason to judge someone especially when my family has a history of selling drugs and they have been convicted.

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