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The law does not stipulate at what age a child can be left home alone - which is problematic because you can get in grave trouble on someone else's discretion (ie. DYFS). Mainly because age is only one factor to consider when leaving a child alone at home. However, I think you are 100% correct and your ex is unwisely willing to take risks that could both impact your 13 years old if something bad happens (she will be traumatized if all doesn't turn out well) and could subject him (and/or you) to criminal prosecution, child neglect and/or endangerment, etc. if the authorities were to find out - this is especially risk given the fact that one of the child not being cared for with adult supervision is autistic with special needs. Imagine the problems if DYFS is called!
In addition to age, other factors include,
DO keep in mind that a parent is responsible for the child's safety and security until legal age, so if something happens while parents are not home, they can be charged with a multitude of crimes depending on the circumstances.
For an interesting NJ case from a couple of weeks agi, where the oldest child was 11, click here.
Let me know if you have any other questions.
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