Your in a tough situation - I've represented many people in similar situations.
You have little alternative but to file contempt motions if your up to it and the hearing. Possibly even a modification of the custody order; however, that get really expensive and time consuming if your up to that too. Document everything, itemize everything, date everything - you can't tape record though - and go to court. Take people with you to pick up the children so that they can testify to what happens at pick-up/drop-off times.
Ask that pick-ups/drop-offs occur at the police station so that you two don't have to come in contact.
I would also call your telephone company to see if you can get copies of the text messages - certainly don't erase them. You might even go to your DA's office with those text messages and see if they will charge her with harassment.
Good luck! Thanks for the question.
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).