Thank you for your question and I look forward to assisting you. Please keep in mind that I can only respond to your post and the information contained in it, as I do not know what you know unless you describe it fully. Also, oftentimes there are future facts that are as yet undetermined in your matter, that can and must leave some areas of information provided by me broad in nature. However, don't hesitate to ask for clarification if needed! At times, there can also be a delay of an hour or more in between my answers because I may be helping other customers or taking a break. That being said...
Your husband has to make a Motion before the Court to enforce his vistiation rights that you indicate he has. He can do this pro-se without an attorney, but he must take great care then to review the forms (he can get them from the Court) and do his homework. Include documentation of his attempts to see the child and when he was last able to do so. If phone calls have been made by him only to be brushed off by the child's caretaker/guardian, include those as attachments to his affidavit/certification included in support of his motion - to help prove he has been trying. I would emphaticaly recommend that he not talk about the 'either / or' situation you mention: "he eithier wants to get visitation and pay support or let the people that have her adopt her or he will give up righs and stop paying. one or the other " - this will definitely give the impression to the Judge that he doesn't care if he sees the child, only that he definitely doesn't want to pay if he can't see her. Remember, the Judge wants to always know that the parent loves the child and cares about the child's best interests - not that the parent is willing to sell the relationship back to the court to save on child support. (I do realize that he is frustrated and in all likelihood this is not how he feels, but being denied visitation wrongfully is extremely upsetting to him.)
Good luck with this and be proactive, this could be resolved shortly by making this Motion.
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