You start by filing a motion to modify support with the court that issued the order. As far as the back support, there is not much you can do with that other than have some reasonable repayment plan set up. In filing your motion for modification, you need to show that there has been a significant change in circumstances that warrant a modification of the support payments and that there is sufficient evidence that would allow the judge to deviate from the support schedule set by the state statutes. I must warn you, when awarding support payments in accordance with the statutes, courts do not generally deviate from the statutory schedule and generally do not care that the payments are causing you not to be able to pay your other bills. In fact, I had one judge tell a client to go get another job or 2 more jobs if they had to to pay their support and their bills, so they can be harsh. Since she makes much more than you make, there may be a chance that you can get your share of the support reduced based upon her higher income and that is the point you need to argue. You can get an attorney to assist you in this, and should do so because it is always best to have a detached party making the arguments on your behalf. If you cannot afford an attorney, contact the state bar and ask about the pro bono programs in your area.
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