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dkennedy
dkennedy, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 6002
Experience:  JD Degree, Social Service Experience, Child Support Officer
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According to Oregon State Law, does the parent with ...

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According to Oregon State Law, does the parent with "custody" of the children have the right to jurisdict the choice of childcare that the "other" parent makes when children are staying with that second parent on their decreed days?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  dkennedy replied 6 years ago.

HelloCustomer

You were not clear about what sort of an order he has, if the divorce is not final. However, it is the practice that, unless the court says otherwise, the parent who is physically caring for the child, decides who is doing the "babysitting" or who the child comes in contact with. In other words, if the mother has to work while it is her parenting time, she can choose who cares for the child during that time. Of course, if the court decides otherwise, that would change.

It sounds as if the father of the child is a bully and is pushing everyone around. Your daughter needs to get a good lawyer, or get her lawyer to have the father back off. I don't know why he has physical placement but it appears that he is a bitter, hateful person and can only be difficult on the child. Your daughter needs to get some rights and quickly, before he erodes her parental rights to nothing.

Good luck.

dkennedy, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 6002
Experience: JD Degree, Social Service Experience, Child Support Officer
dkennedy and 4 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Reply to dkennedy's Post: Bless you! Wow! You confirmed several things we "thought" to be true, but didn't know for sure. You deserve some affirmations on your deep insight, yet, careful assumptions.
1) Their divorce was final 1 1/2 yrs. ago.
2) Bully? Ha! That's a kind word for what we call him! He uses coersion on our daughter OFTEN, when he wants things to go his way. Now, he threatens us, the grandparents, by saying we cannot be with the children unless we do this or that. If we refuse, he tells our daughter he will shorten the amt. of time she has with the two children.
3)He has physical placement of the children in his home ONLY because our daughter was so sexually and verbally abused by him behind closed doors, that she ran, put herself under psychiatric care and counseling. She was too ill to understand the legal documents when the "X" brought them to her to sign. Now, she's strong, but broke. So we'll need to come up with the funds if she wants to pursue "joint" custody. Thus, shutting off his "control" over all of us.

Our final question: Are his acts called "coersion" and are they illegal under the above circumstances?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
We have paid for the previous question and would like to ask this next question of dkennedy:
(you can bill us for this additional question)

Bless you! Wow! You confirmed several things we "thought" to be true, but didn't know for sure. You deserve some affirmations on your deep insight, yet, careful assumptions.
1) Their divorce was final 1 1/2 yrs. ago.
2) Bully? Ha! That's a kind word for what we call him! He uses coersion on our daughter OFTEN, when he wants things to go his way. Now, he threatens us, the grandparents, by saying we cannot be with the children unless we do this or that. If we refuse, he tells our daughter he will shorten the amt. of time she has with the two children.
3)He has physical placement of the children in his home ONLY because our daughter was so sexually and verbally abused by him behind closed doors, that she ran, put herself under psychiatric care and counseling. She was too ill to understand the legal documents when the "X" brought them to her to sign. Now, she's strong, but broke. So we'll need to come up with the funds if she wants to pursue "joint" custody. Thus, shutting off his "control" over all of us.

Our final question: Are his acts called "coersion" and are they illegal under the above circumstances?
Expert:  dkennedy replied 6 years ago.

Hello again,

I would be pleased to help further. What is your question or questions?

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Bless you! Wow! You confirmed several things we "thought" to be true, but didn't know Oregon Law. You deserve some affirmations on your deep insight, yet, careful assumptions. Then, we have two more questions.
1) Their divorce was final 1 1/2 yrs. ago.
2) Bully? Ha! That's a kind word for what we call him, never to his face, of course! He uses coercion on our daughter OFTEN, when he wants things to go his way. Now, he threatens us, the grandparents, by saying we cannot be with the children unless we do this or that. If we refuse, he tells our daughter he will shorten the amt. of time she has with the two children.
3)He has physical placement of the children in his home ONLY because our daughter was so sexually and verbally abused by him behind closed doors, that she ran, put herself under psychiatric care and counseling. She was too ill to understand the legal documents when the "X" brought them to her to sign. Now, she's strong, but financially broke. So we'll need to come up with the funds if she wants to pursue "joint" custody. Thus, shutting off his "control" over all of us.

Our next question: Are his acts of threatening to abbreviate her amount of divorced-decreed "mother's time" called "coercion" and are acts of coercion illegal in the State of Oregon?

We live 3 blocks from them and have been with the grandkids since they were born. (now, 5 & 7 Yrs.) Because he does not like us and he will do anything to keep us away from the children, he just told us we cannot be with our grandchildren without supervision and we must take a parenting class!!! Can he actually keep us from being with the grandchildren if we don't obey his commands?

When listing 30 accredited reasons why we CAN be with our own grandchildren two days ago, all he responded with was, "So?"...."So?....."So?....."So?" He has ZERO respect for our daughter and us, yet, the divorce was due to HIS abusing HER!!

Brokenhearted and confused,Customer
Expert:  dkennedy replied 6 years ago.

HelloCustomer

I am assuming that he has physical custody, but there are no extraordinary allowances made for him to dictate who has contact with the children. As long as the court order does not say anything about it, he cannot change the mother's visitation, and when she has the children, you can spend as much time as you want with them.

Just because he has physical custody, does not give him the right to add or subtract anything to the court order.

Keep a journal about these threats, and every other facet of this situation and have your daughter do the same. Wait for the chance to beat him at his own game.

dkennedy, Attorney at Law
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 6002
Experience: JD Degree, Social Service Experience, Child Support Officer
dkennedy and 4 other Family Law Specialists are ready to help you

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