You were not clear about what sort of an order he has, if the divorce is not final. However, it is the practice that, unless the court says otherwise, the parent who is physically caring for the child, decides who is doing the "babysitting" or who the child comes in contact with. In other words, if the mother has to work while it is her parenting time, she can choose who cares for the child during that time. Of course, if the court decides otherwise, that would change.
It sounds as if the father of the child is a bully and is pushing everyone around. Your daughter needs to get a good lawyer, or get her lawyer to have the father back off. I don't know why he has physical placement but it appears that he is a bitter, hateful person and can only be difficult on the child. Your daughter needs to get some rights and quickly, before he erodes her parental rights to nothing.
I would be pleased to help further. What is your question or questions?
I am assuming that he has physical custody, but there are no extraordinary allowances made for him to dictate who has contact with the children. As long as the court order does not say anything about it, he cannot change the mother's visitation, and when she has the children, you can spend as much time as you want with them.
Just because he has physical custody, does not give him the right to add or subtract anything to the court order.
Keep a journal about these threats, and every other facet of this situation and have your daughter do the same. Wait for the chance to beat him at his own game.
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