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Familylaw Guru
Familylaw Guru, Attorney at Law, JD
Category: Family Law
Satisfied Customers: 1349
Experience:  Experienced in divorce, child custody, child support, paternity issues, and parental rights.
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I married a man in 1994. I had an affair in 1997, which ...

Customer Question

I married a man in 1994. I had an affair in 1997, which resulted in a child in 1998. I had stayed with the man I married and i have 3 children that have is last name and I only have 1 that is biologically his. I am now with the man that fathered the child in 1998 and we have gotten a DNA test which proves he is the father and not the man I was married to. The man I was married to has been ordered to pay child support and keep health insurance on all the children. He has not payed his child support at all and I have to keep medicaid on the children. He says he will not give up his rights, but he will not help at all in any way emotionally or financially with any of them. I love the man I am with and he supports this whole family in all ways. I would like to get their names changed and parental rights turned over to him, so that his daughter may be able to have her rightful name and my middle son can be adopted. I have made a big mistake! HELP! Can I straighten this out?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Family Law
Expert:  Familylaw Guru replied 8 years ago.

You will need to petition the court to determine paternity.

Since you were married to this man at the children's birth, he is the presumed father, however, the courts can change this with a DNA test done and ordered by them. You will need to go through the court to get another DNA test done. Once done, the court will then order that the father be changed on the birth certificates to reflect the real father.

At that time and once the paternity is ordered changed, you can also petition for a name change of your children to reflect that of the original father.

Having the other son adopted, however, is a trickier matter. To have the son adopted that is not biologically the mans you are with at this time, you would have to have consent from your ex husband to do so. If he refused, you would have to battle it out in court; however, it is very unlikely that the courts will allow his adoption if the man you are with is not the biological father and the biological father refuses.

I would highly recommend getting an attorney to help you in this as changing paternity and trying for adoption can be very complicated.

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Jennifer