Of course they are being accomodating, because they are going to save a fortune if they can convince you to settle, not to lawyer up!
The other party's insurance company is hoping you will not get a lawyer and disturb their plan to ensure that you don't get anywhere near as much as you would if you simply lawyered up.
You have a claim. Each of your children has a claim. Your husband has a claim. You don't say how much money was expended patching you all back together again after this accident, but if you were in the hospital, chances are it was several thousand dollars. Every bill with a receipt is a "special damage". Think of what it took to replace your car, the time off from work, the time your kids missed from school, etc. This has a dollar value.
You need a personal injury attorney. Maybe not the one with the biggest advertisement, but one with a good track record. The attorney can make them settle for a great deal more money than you can. (Not that you are not a savvy negotiator, but the attorney does this for a living). Even accounting for the attorney's fee coming out of the settlement, you will still net a great deal more money if you hire an attorney.
This is the kind of case where you will not have to pay anything and the lawyer will not earn anything until the matter is settled, and all the bills are paid. Don't pass by this opportunity to make the situation right, and to be compensated for what you have been through. XXXXX XXXXX