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A stye (or chalazion which is an old, chronic stye) is a blocked oil gland in the eyelid that causes a swollen and sometimes focal, tender bump on the eyelid. When the opening of the gland is obstructed the oil spills out into the inside tissues of the eyelid which incites an immune reaction, causing the swelling, redness and tenderness, but these only rarely become secondarily infected and therefore usually don't respond to antibiotics. The definitive treatment for these is to use intensive hot compresses, but many people dont do them as intensively as is necessary to fully treat them. It should be as hot as you can tolerate without burning your skin, massaging the eyelids while they are on there. This should be done 4x/day and doing this daily, it can take up to 3 weeks of this intensive regimen for them to resolve, but most will resolve within this time. The ones that don't resolve after this need to be opened in a minor office procedure by your ophthalmologist. But unfortunately OTC medicines that say they treat styes are essentially ineffective and don't treat the root cause of the stye, which is the blocked oil gland that usually will resolve with the heat and massages.
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It can get somewhat bigger with massage, this shouldn't stop you from doing the massage.
Yes, but the way that is accomplished is by heating up the congealed oil in the chalazion (hot compress) and getting it moving (massage w/ the compress). If it gets a little bigger it's just because the heat produces some mild inflammation within the skin causing some fluid influx which is temporary. It doesn't make the chalazion bigger or worse. Keep in mind though if you've been doing this diligently the way I've prescribed for 3 weeks, it's likely not going to go away without a procedure by your ophthalmologist.