Hi - I am Dr. Trace.
I am sorry to hear of all your problems with the immunodeficiency and bullying by the retina specialist. In the end, you are your own advocate and have the final decision regarding what is right for you. If you felt the negatives outweighed the positives it is your choice.
What I would like you to do however is get a second opinion from another retina specialist regarding the surgery. As far as I know, there is no drop or other treatment for macular holes besides surgery. I have found in my own patients that the surgery is successful and the hole does close with better visual improvement after surgery as opposed to no surgery.
In terms of your immunodeficiency, the eye is a privileged site and not as suceptible to problems with immunodeficiency as other organs during surgery. In fact, we ophthalmologists use steroids in the eyes all the time and they are immunosuppresive drugs. Suppressing the immune system to a certain degree leads to less scarring and better healing inside the eye because the healing is slower and less scar tissue forms.
I think you need a new retina doctor. No patient should ever feel bullied or uncomfortable with the answers their doctor is providing. I say to my patients all the time, "You would change your hairdresser if they did something you didn't like. Think how much more important your doctor is."
I hope you will at least consider a second opinion. What I would like to see for you is a good visual outcome and this may be possible with all your concerns addressed.
Please let me know if I can be of any further help.
Thank you that does help, I do intend to go ahead and get a second opinion.