An eye problem could be a very distressing thing. So, I can understand how you feel. It is important to do an examination before saying what you have. It looks like you are suffering from severe meibomitis. Meibomitis is the inflammation of meibomion glands present on the lid margins. It is a very common condition but severe meibomitis is not seen in many. Due to this, the tear film in eye is defective. In severe cases there could be redness, burning or even watering from theeyes. The lid margin could be red and there could be inspissated tooth paste like material seen on pressing the lid matgin. An oral anti-biotic of doxycycline for 2 weeks is very helpful. Warm compresses are soothing and should be done 2-3 times. A preservative free eye drop like Refresh Tears should be instilled 4-5 times a day.
Another possiblity could be blepharitis inwhich you will feel grittiness in the yes. I would advise you to see an oculoplastic surgeon if the above treatment does not help you as they are specialized in lid problems and would be the best for you. Thanks.
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