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Recently at one of my daughters traveling team softball games,

 
Rev Dr August Abbott's Avatar
  • Answered by:Rev Dr August Abbott
  • Adult Etiquette Pro
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Customer Question

Recently at one of my daughter’s traveling team softball games, I was sitting near another person who commented when my daughter struck out “that figures” to another parent. This lady’s daughter has also struck out. I pretended I did not hear it but was extremely angry at the parent for making such a destructive comment.
Again this past weekend, another parent made a comment when she went into a position for another player. Her comment was “really?” We were in the championship game. Both of these parents have outstanding players on the team. My daughter is not as gifted, but still works hard at practice always going and helps the team in several areas.
After the last comment that I endured, I looked at the lady and then promptly moved my chair and myself away from all parents. What is the proper thing to do? I have encountered this more than once with both my children. My children are not the superstars but have always contributed good things to the team. Neither of them disserves the treatment that they have received over the years, but I have never been able to figure out the proper way to tell another parent to stop the destructive comments. I have heard over the years several times that so and so child is better than my child so they deserve to play more. Always breaks my heart and makes me mad because my children have had their fair share of sitting out of the games.
Any help you offer is greatly appreciated. I am trying to portray the right thing but not hurt the team of my child.

Submitted: 301 days and 2 hours ago.
Category: Etiquette
Value: $59
Status: CLOSED

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Expert:  Rev Dr August Abbott replied 301 days and 1 hours ago.

Dear mom, first and foremost I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX for your restraint and character. I would much rather meet your child in future business or practice than the result of the other parents' upbringing.
-- How very unfortunate for our society and sad for those children.
--
Now, as for what you CAN do and should do. I'd live to advise you to make an equally snide comment in response to theirs, like ' Well, those who tolerate this awkward stage will surely be tolerated when my child hires them in the future to work for her company'. But alas you cannot.
--
You CAN say, 'I am her mom and I know she's not the superstar yours is, so please be kind in your comments as long as I can hear you. '
--
Most people are embarrassed when their lack of manners and decorum is noticed. Most. Not all.
---
In the end there is really nothing you can do that won't lower yourself to their childish, poorly mannered level. Smiling and nodding like you KNOW that your children will be their children's employers in a few years will certainly bother them even more since they are looking for a reaction.
---
Use this to teach your kids about tolerance intolerance - poor sportsmanship and buffoonery not exclusive to children. Want to bet that these parents had parents just like them?

Maintain your dignity and continue to rise above this level of behavior as difficult as it may be

Expert TypeAdult Etiquette Pro
Category: Etiquette
Pos. Feedback: 100.0 %
Accepts: 423
Answered: 6/26/2012

Experience: Formal event coordinator/officiate, announcement author

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