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I am an attorney with 30 years of experience; I hope to provide you information that will help you in resolving your question.
In regard to the phone call, we can do that if you want, but I really do not want you to spend extra money. So we can post back and forth without any additional costs to you.
In regard to your questions let me try to take them in order:
1. The car
The executor is obligated to be fair and even handed in regard to the estate and each beneficiary. As to the car she has a choice to sell the car at fair market value and distribute the proceeds evenly among the beneficiaries. If the other beneficiaries waived their interest to the car she could transfer it to you without making an adjustment. If the other beneficiaries do not waive their interest then the executor needs to make the adjustment for the value of the car. You may be able to dispute the value of the car, but it is reasonable that its value be offset from your share of the estate to be fair to the other beneficiaries. If she did not make the adjustment the other beneficiaries would have a basis to complain.
If you get written waivers from your other siblings (including the executor) she can waive the adjustment.
2) The with holding: The Estate can not be closed until all debts, expenses, and taxes, are accounted for and the estate has has received tax clearances from the IRS and the state. It is common to either wait until all debts and expenses are paid to make distributions, or with hold a percentage that will cover the expected debts and expenses and has distributed all assets on hand. A 10% hold back is a fair rule of thumb. Once the expenses, taxes and debts are paid the remainder must be finally distributed.
3) Since the debt is yours and not the estates, again the executor must act to protect the interests of all the beneficiaries. (Just like with the car.) This applies just to the credit cards that are in both names. The cards that were in your father's name only were his debt and unless you had a written agreement those cards should come out of the estate and not your share.
This link has useful information on the process:
Please also note that the executor can pay herself some funds for the time and trouble of being executor
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Please note: Information is educational and not given as legal advice. Only your local attorney can give legal advice. I can't establish or accept an attorney-client relationship with you. All posts are available for public viewing.