Estate Law Questions? Ask an Estate Lawyer.
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Have you actually had the trust or will drafted yet?
Are you going to draw up the trust or will yourself or are you going to have an attorney help?
If you haven't had the will or trust drafted yet, then you can put whatever conditions or restrictions in the document that you want. If you want to control your assets long term, then a trust is better because a will is settled and then the probate case is closed so no one is monitoring things to make sure that your wishes are followed.
With a trust, there is a trustee who manages the trust as long as is necessary. So you can put a clause in the trust that states that son has the right to use and enjoy the assets in the trust for his lifetime and then the remaining assets go to your grandchildren. The trustee will then monitor and administer the trust for as long as is necessary before it dissolves and the assets are distributed to the grandchildren.