Estate Law Questions? Ask an Estate Lawyer.
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I am very sorry to learn of this situation and the rather complicated issues stemming from it.
It is possible that you would be entitled to inherit from all three estates. However, the fact that your mother in law had alzheimer's alone does not mean that she cannot create a new will (although it does create at least a significant argument that any will or testamentary document that was drafted is unenforceable - the issue is whether or not she was lucid at the time the document was drafted, and whether there was undue influence at the time - I just want to address the fact that this is not a "sure thing" and litigation over these estates in probate is going to have an inherent risk (like all litigation)).
I would recommend consulting with a local probate attorney, provide them all of the documentation that you have in your possession and allow them to review it and provide you with a formal opinion, and go over the cost/benefit analysis with you (do not spend more litigating the matter with your husband's cousin than you would potentially recover from the estate).
If there was in fact a case of financial abuse of an elder, while this is a criminal matter as well as a civil one - I would speculate (although, please do keep in mind this is a "general information forum" and I have no way of reviewing all of the facts of your case - that is part of what the local attorney's consultation would cover) that this would be dealt with solely in a civil suit - where the estate of your mother in law would sue the cousin for money damages for her conduct.
If you die without a testamentary document (will or trust), your estate goes through the intestate succession statute.
In New Jersey it would pass like this: http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/intestate-succession-new-jersey.html
The executor is not necessarily the beneficiary of the estate.
Unfortunately you are going to have to go back and try to unwind what happened in these estates and see what exactly occurred.
(I really would recommend at a minimum consulting with a local attorney so that you can go over the specific facts of what you are dealing with (in more detail than what we can do here on a "chat" session) and come up with a strategy to deal with all of this in a cost effective and efficient manner - you don't want to try going about this piecemeal or in a jerk-kneed response, and spending some time going over the matter as a whole identifying issues such as statutes of limitations, where to best invest your resources and cost/benefit analysis will be a great value to you upfront).