Hello and thank you for your posts. Please permit me to assist you.
I see quite a few questions and I will try to respond to them, but if I miss any please reply and I will amend my answers.
First of all, if this attorney represents your husband and not you, the attorney can request that you find someone else to do the work. There is no duty by the attorney to keep you on as clients, and since there is a very legitimate argument as to whether or not your spouse is competent, a professional attorney would likely refuse to make changes purely because the risk of malpractice and challenge to the will is so high.
I cannot comment on the joint ownership as I have not seen your documentation, but it sounds either as if the property is in trust so neither of you actively own it, or your husband's portion of the property is in trust. That would mean upon passing that goes into the trust, but then a 'life estate' is placed on the property for you, which is essentially permanent tenancy. The home after that point goes to whomever is listed in trust as the beneficiary.
Now, as far as making personal changes to your own will, you are free to do so. To find counsel I would suggest browsing the listings at www.avvo.com and www.martindale.com. You can either make a new will, or make a 'codicil' for amending the past document.