Unless there is a beneficiary listed, or assuming that the listed beneficiary has died, the proceeds of the insurance policy will go to the estate, not his wife.
That means that the estate gets it, and the "residue" of the estate. If she is not working with you, you may have to get an attorney involved to compel this, or get her removed as the executor (if she fails in executing the terms of the will).
Again, if it's not specifically listed, it would fall under the residue, and would go to your husband. Only if there was a listed beneficiary would it pass outside of probate.
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