Unfortunately Wills are not made a matter of public record until after death occurs. However, a person who is in possession of the Will is supposed to deposit it with the county clerk. This would be in the county in which the decedent lived or where the decedent had real property. The reality is that most people do not deposit the Will until a probate
is opened. So if it was deposited it is public record or once a probate is opened.
If probate has not been opened it is going to be difficult for you to discover where the Will is unless some friend or relative of your father can give names of lawyers that he spoke to in the past.
You may also check with the local funeral homes to see if they have a schedule of when his funeral is going to be held.
If you have some form of written proof that the ashes are yours that would be best. Such as provided for in your Mother's will or a letter from a parent stating the ashes should remain in your possession.
My condolences on the loss of your father and I am truly sorry you are dealing with this situation on top of grieving your loss. I only hope that your sister comes around after she has had a day or two to grieve to return the ashes and to be more receptacle of your presence.
All my best & encouragement.
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All states have intricacies in their laws and any information given is simply information only and specifically is not intended to be, nor does it constitute, legal advice. This communication does not establish an attorney-client relationship with you.