Hi, thanks for your inquiry! I have been practicing Estate law for 17+ years and have specific experience with issues like yours. My name isXXXXX and I have been a stage 4 (highest) professional lawyer with the Company for nearly 4 years, and enjoy giving top notch answers to all of my customers. While I am unable to represent you or give you specific legal advise, I can provide you with legal information you may wish to consider and review so that when you do consult with an attorney in your jurisdiction, you have a basis of knowledge.



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That being said... with regard to your post:


Question #1: 1. Can my mother have me in a meeting about estate planing with the lawyer we hired if I am to be the sole trustee of her estate after she passes? Yes.


Imy mother has always wanted me with her for any matters pertaining to her estate or personally. We are so close that the other kids are feeling jealous. My mom does not want me to be attacked in anyway afte rshe passes. It will not be equal in her desire to have me safe. She has already made it clear to a seperate lawyer, whom I have had no contact whats so ever with this lawyer. she has confrontation issues around being honest about her true feelings, but she knows she must state the truth some way without having to face her other kids before she goes. OK. She may want to make a video read of her will/trust terms and why she is doing what she is doing. That way if they later say, she was not of sound mind, or, our sister coerced her, it will be very clear that that was not so.

Question #2: 2. We have been told if she has a compentcy test to show she is able to make decisions. Also not a bad idea for later proof that the Will is firm.

is it legal to have myself and her in a meeting with a seperate estate lawyer that we hired to be able to help mom with understanding the options? Yes. But confidentiality may be lost if you are there - if that is important. It may not be - it just means that the lawyer would lose the "privilege" to not testify about those matters should he be subpoenaed.

This lawyer has looked at all of her options and before I was to have this meeting with mom and this lawyer, I was told by another lawyer friend, that I needed to be sure that I could be at that meeting. It may help for you to help explain things to him, if your mom is not so great at that.

As long as mom is making her decisions for herself, would there be problems with the other kids, could they sue? Anyone can contest a will or trust - so it is helpful to make sure you have proof that the Will was valid - mostly that it really WAS her will and that she was of sound mind...... You can also consider whether a "no contest" clause would be helpful - it tends to say that IF a beneficiary contests the will, he loses his inheritance......

My mother will have a clause that if any of the kids contests the will they will be removed from their share and it could be given to the remaining children or grand-children. Lol, we think alike.

I know thats this is a lot of info, but I am happy to pay for expert advise. I can only share legal info with you of a somewhat general nature - but it can help you spark some ideas, hopefully, to address with your lawyer.

My mom is a good and kind person And she is very, very fortunate to have such a loving and devoted daughter......

and dosent deserve the stress related to the other kids that are understandably worried for their share. When she creates her proof for later, that there was no coercion for you to get more, but real valid reasonings (such as, You cared for her full time, you gave up social life, perhaps some work life or opportunities, you took care of all of her physical needs she needed help with, as well as companion needs so she wasn't lonely..... and she wants that compensated in some what so that YOU are not later the one in need when she can not return the favor.... something along those lines.

They will be all taken care of to the best of mom's ability.
Thanks Welcome. Feel free to follow up if need be. If not, good luck with this! Hopefully you want have to be without your mom for a very long time! My mom recently moved in with me, so we may be where you were 15 years ago, when you and your mom joined up.

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