Employment Law Questions? Ask an Employment Lawyer.
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The only other option she has, outside of the company agreeing, is to file a lawsuit. Unfortunately, this involves apart of the law known as ERISA and there are very few lawyers that do this kind of work. She cna find one by going to www.lawyers.com and in the section for Area of Practice enter ERISA.
The lawyer will then advise her as to how the lawsuit must proceed. It has to be brought in federal court and you are essentially just asking the court to make a finding that the employer never sent her the paper but if they had then she would have elected to take a lump sum payout (if that's what she wanted).
With them admitting that she told them she wanted the lump sum payout, assuming they still do, then the judge's order will allow them to make the distribution. They can't right now because they would be going against the requirements of the plan.