Thank you for trusting your question to JA today. I am a licensed attorney with over a decade of law practice and over 20 years of experience in the legal field. I’m happy to be of assistance.
Unfortunately, if she is not working in that field anymore, such that an inappropriate relationship with a patient would cause her work or licensing concerns, there really isn't anything you could do here to destroy her life, as you say.
Aside from the potential licensing issue, what she did isn't illegal in this country, so there isn't really any way to sue her (or him) or have her charged here.
Furthermore, it is very possible that you, yourself, are in violation of the New Jersey laws concerning recording, if you recorded others unawares. The law requires that at least one party to the conversation be aware of the recording, and neither of them were aware. You'd essentially subject yourself to criminal charges and a civil lawsuit if you attempted to use the recordings.
I'm sorry that you are facing this situation, but in this case seeking retribution will only result in further damage to yourself.
If you have any further questions, please let me know. I invite follow up questions, so use REPLY for those. If you have no further questions then good luck going forward and please do not forget to rate my service with a top-three rating so that I receive credit for working with you today. Also, feel free to request me in the future, if you have questions concerning a different matter.