Sorry to hear that you have a hard time logging into your AOL Email. AOL will block your account for security reasons if you incorrectly answer your ASQ for four consecutive times. Don't worry, the block on the account is valid only for 24 hours. After the 24 hour period expires, the block is automatically lifted and you can answer your Account security question with the appropriate answer.
Herein lies the issue. IF you can't remember the security question, AOL does not offer a way to change it without logging into the system. This is a security method designed to keep your account from unauthorized people from accessing your account. The only people at that point in time that would be able to reset. Their support page claims they offer password ***** services at(###) ###-####
Unfortunately, I am not sure what AOL said when you called them on the phone, but without the security question their technical support is the only option beyond trying to remember the security question.