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Ask TherapistJen Your Own Question

TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Dream Interpretation
Satisfied Customers: 3119
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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SURE sorry for the caps, Okay first I want to say that maybe

Customer Question

SURE sorry for the caps
JA: The Dream Analyst will know what to do. Please tell me everything you can so the Dream Analyst can help you best.
Customer: Okay first I want to say that maybe this dream I had is due to me fantasying about someone. But ok so last night I dreamt that I was in this beautiful house that what seemed like either my fiance then or husband purchased (in real life I'm not married or engaged, I recently got divorced but have feelings for someone). So I woke up late and it looked the we had a helper in the house (I don't want to use maid), and when I woke up I came across a big suitcase & in the that suitcase was clothes and some letters/journals that my fiance/husband wrote about me & us. So as I was about to read them, he came home from what appeared to be work. H e was so excited to see & we passionately embraced and started kissing. Then my mom entered the room and we stopped, he went to the hallway and sat with my brother or had just entered the house too. It felt like we had just bought a house in a very high end neighbor hood and like either we got married or got engaged but it was such a nice dream & I felt so happy waking up. Now in my reality, this guy I saw in the dream I think was the guy I have feelings for - who currently we are distant & haven't spoken in several days.
JA: Oh I love this topic. Did you know I used to be a dream interpretation expert? Yes, but now I have to hand you off to one of the new and better trained ones. You will undoubtedly enjoy this. Is there anything else important you think the Dream Analyst should know?
Customer: no
Submitted: 6 months ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 6 months ago.

Hi. Your dream sounds to me like you are mourning your recent divorce...even if you desired it, there is mourning with change. All of the new things in your dream that feel warm and wonderful are all things you desire and long and hope for. The great fiance/husband, a beautiful home with a helper and your family around with you. It speak to possibility and desire and most likely it does have to do with this new person you have feelings for and the distance between you now worries you on some level as to whether you can have it all with him or anyone else. You are ready for it all and the dream indicates that with your happiness and feeling calm with your beautiful life.

Why the distance now between the two of you?

Customer: replied 6 months ago.
Well here's a little background story, I'm sorry this maybe long...
I knew my ex husband for 6 years, we met during our senior of high school (spring 2010) and dated throughout college. It wasn't an easy relationship, I was unhappy and hurt most of the time because of the things he did, how immature he was & how he mistreated me/ took me for granted. He also had a gaming addiction that was ruining his life & our relationship - according to him though it wasn't an addiction. The thing was that I loved him, I was always hoping that in future he would change & I fought so hard, giving him many chances after he cheated on me, verbally abused me etc. We even went to counseling for help & we weren't even married. Every time I tried to break up with him, he got suicidal & came sobbing to me apologizing & trying to make it up to me (he's bipolar & suffered from depression). Despite all the red flags, I married him 2 months after I graduated from college in the Fall 2014. I knew I wasn't making the right decision but I felt like I didn't want to disappoint anyone because no one really knew how our relationship was behind closed doors - we portrayed this perfect & happy couple outside & on social media but in reality it was miserable for me. I also didn't want him to hurt himself if I left - I literally just felt stuck in the situation. A month after we got married we moved to another state for work, things just got worse between us. We were fighting almost everyday & I resented him. I was calling my parents almost every day crying how unhappy I was & they couldn't really understand because they never saw the bad side of him. Eventually we moved to the state where my parents were because I needed emotional support. Around Feb 2016, I moved in with my parents & they gave me the strength & courage I needed to pursue divorce. After a few weeks my ex husband wanted me to give him one last chance so I went there for the weekend to see how things would go between us. That first night together, when he fell asleep I looked at his phone & the first screen appeared was his online dating profile. I was livid, I woke him up we had a huge argument & I went back to my parents. Out of anger and revenge, I also created an online dating profile where I stated that I was also divorced. It wasn't something I took seriously until I got a message from this new person. We exchanged numbers and spoke on skype because I kept telling that I wasn't ready to see him - I kept on making excuses because I felt wrong "leading him on" because he thought I was divorced when in fact I wasn't. However, after a few weeks we met several times. He's the complete opposite of my ex, and when we did see each other he was respectful & wasn't pushing for anything. The most we did was side hugged :). Feelings started to develop & I felt more guilty, meanwhile I was pushing my ex husband for a divorce & he didn't want it. I decided to tell this new person the truth the week we signed the divorce papers - I told him how I felt about him & I told him that I was still married. I couldn't face him so I wrote him a letter telling him the truth. He wasn't too happy but he handled it better than I expected. When the divorce was finalized I told this new person & although it was hard we both decided that I needed time to fully have closure with the divorce before starting anything with him - he told me when I felt ready to contact him again. It's been a tough summer because I lost my job, I got divorced and I met someone who I have an emotional connection & spark that I've never felt before. So I haven't been my best because I'm mourning my divorce but at the same I'm missing this new person because we haven't spoken since then.The same night I had that dream, I had a first short dream of where we were like courting - in the dream he came to visit me at my parent's. We were texting, I was in the room getting ready but I was happy and nervous/anxious to see him & my one of my brothers came to tell him that he was waiting for me in the sitting room. Then I woke up & fell back asleep and had that second dream about the house & us together.Sorry for the long message :-/
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 6 months ago.

Thanks for giving me all of that additional info and I am sorry to hear of all that pain. Your dreams do signify hope and a longing for the happy life. You have some healing to do and taking some time on your own might be the best thing so you can go to him or anyone else with a healed spirit. You deserve that time and I hear your strength so I do feel you will achieve all the happiness that the dreams represented.

Expert:  TherapistJen replied 6 months ago.

The dreams are also you beginning to heal and see happiness after a long time of being silent and unhappy.

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