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Ask Dr. Norman Brown Your Own Question

Dr. Norman Brown
Dr. Norman Brown, PhD
Category: Dream Interpretation
Satisfied Customers: 1168
Experience:  40yrs interpreting dreams & connecting conscious & unconscious minds
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In my dream I was pregnant but it was like I wasn't because

Customer Question

In my dream I was pregnant but it was like I wasn't because I didn't get big or go into labor. Suddenly I was in a dark alleyway holding my baby. The baby was very very small and I knew it needed to go to the hospital but, and this is where it really gets weird, I couldn't take it to the hospital until it was actually born. In the distance I could see (me or someone) in labor with the baby I was holding. The labor wasn't going well. The longer I held the baby while this person was in labor the more worried I became. I was worried about time. I realized I needed to get pregnant again right away. So then suddenly I'm pregnant again, while still holding his baby in the alley while blocks away I'm in labor. Then I realized I didn't know how to swaddled the baby and had no business having one let alone two.
I woke up before the baby was born and before I could get it to the hospital. The baby was a preemie for sure. That's when I woke up in the pool of sweat.
Submitted: 3 months ago.
Category: Dream Interpretation
Expert:  Mrs.SandMan replied 3 months ago.

Babies in dreams usually symbolize something new coming into your life. Such as new responsibilities. Since you were in a dark alley, maybe showing how you might be having a hard time seeing clearly in the situation you are in. Since you were trying to give birth, than it can relate to certain ideas or concepts you are trying to "birth". With you watching another person giving birth with the baby you are holding. Can pertain to this new responsibility or idea that may be in in the hands of other individuals. With you not knowing how to swaddle the baby and having no business having two babies. Can be showing how you may also not be ready for these new responsibilities or ideas coming into your life. Perhaps being brought on by another person? Does this relate to you at all?

Customer: replied 3 months ago.
The "other person" having the baby was me. It was as though I was watching myself from a distance in labor with the baby I was already holding.Either way, based on what I kind of understood from your paragraph (it's a little hard to understand what exactly you are saying) I would say it doesn't relate to anything in my waking life.
Customer: replied 3 months ago.
Expert:  Mrs.SandMan replied 3 months ago.

Sorry or the delay in my response. So you can not find anything in your life that you feel is new, or a responsibility that may be coming into your life? Babies can also represent gifts. Depending on your beliefs. Sometimes we are given a spiritual gift or a skill or talent we are giving birth to. Does this relate to you at all?

Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 3 months ago.

There is a source of information about what is going on in your life that quite frequently leads young women to dream about being pregnant: At the end of March your dream was trying to track the progress of your strategy to win back the boyfriend who had just decided that he just wanted to be friends instead of commit towards growing a love relationship (tho that might have meant "friends with benefits").

When a love relationship comes to an end it is often unconsciously experienced as a death-- which actually occurred in your March 28 dream. But in that dream your boyfriend's death was a fake, and he was still alive and next to you at the end. That Does Not Mean He Was Tricking You: Because YOU were trying to trick him into falling in love with you again, and you couldn't do that without continuing to love him--which is NORMAL, not strange or naive at all. So your continuing love did not let him die. All those shirts (that acted as the outward manifestations/or-masks covering his heart) represented how YOU perceived him; and since he was still wearing the red shirt at the end (or at least you didn't disagree with your interpreter when he assumed that), then he was still either an object of heart-passion or heart-danger at the end. Tht means BOTH: your passion for him, enhanced by his "dance- away moves" was what kept him dangerously alive for you.

So IF you had/have been able to let your love for him DIE between your 30day manipulation- experiment and now in July, THEN you would be able to give birth to a new life for yourself at this time. I've seen women's dreams that manifested pregnancy & new birth in 3 months after a relationship death (because you're no longer married in soul to a guy, but able to give birth to a new spirit-baby of yourself, who is naturally very weak and vulnerable at first, but very worthy of your own love--because you're not idealizing a male partner anymore but idealizing&loving the new growth of your own self.

But this dream shows that you have NOT been able to complete the death of your love of your exlove. So you're not ready to give birth to your own new self yet. Suddenly being in a dark alley is (scene 2: symbolically YOUR BIRTHCANAL) your psyche attempting to work out the problem that your dream's exposition (scene 1)("pregnant, but not big or into labor"). You needed to go to the hospital--which is a normal symbol of getting mental health treatment to make it possible for you to start your new life.

Yet you have a curious ("weird") reversal of the causality: You couldn't take it to the hospital until it was born. Why? Because you have to get over your lingering attachment to your exlove BEFORE you can give birth to a new and very vulnerable growing self. Just telling yourself you're "moving on" isn't good enough, because that doesn't penetrate inward to your love-generating source. Breakup Recovery Counseling can help you; but you need to symbolically GET RID OF your soul-mated (or yearning4soulmating) dualself with your exbf: Writing a Feelings &oodbye letter and burning it (or sending some of it)--there are many ways, but they have to work for you, and you have to tie off and CUT any umbilical cord connections to him: No "friends" on Facebook etc.

I don't want to go carefully into all 3 versions of where you are with regard to birthing a new life for yourself until I find out if you're really interested in this interpretation of your dream. For it's still possible that your dream means something else.

But it appears to me that your healthy psyche has momentum towards starting out a new life, but you're pretty confused about how you will accomplish that--and your dream-ego- consciousness realizes that getting yourself a new boyfriend right away is NOT the right way to proceed. Since you don't know how to dress up that new (way of) life properly so it can grow like a normal relationship should: Very Good Advice, since covering up your heartache with a new love does injustive to your new lovepartner as well as yourself, and it will usually die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (when your heart's delusion fizzles out), or it Should.

Bot***** *****ne, you need to come to terms with your 3 choices: residual attachment = nonviable preemie; funeral and burial of your past love = real labor in the not-to-distant future; or hasty plug-in-replacement love = "healing relationship" that won't achieve a communally acceptable & normal growth trajectory.

Expert:  Dr. Norman Brown replied 3 months ago.

PS. JustAnswer encourages experts to offer a second opinion if it is significantly different than the first. In this case I've written an entire college textbook on love relationships (published in 2000 and taught for 11 years)before and 10 after) as well as worked with dreams for over 50 years. On some subjects I'm a very reliable expert, certainly not on all. Please feel free to make up your own mind about what interpretation serves you well. I might have revised your March 28 dream interpretation too, but I didn't happen to see it, since I'm busy taking care of my disabled wife and daughter.

Customer: replied 2 months ago.
Wow Dr Brown, that was amazing. And I believe more inline with what is happening in my life. My ex and I didn't get back together. He started dating someone days after we broke up and while I've been working on myself (with self love techniques -I've been reading a lot of books, listening to mediations, doing positive affirmation work in the mirror, etc) I am still struggling with the breakup and moving on. If getting over a relationship is like a bell curve, I feel as though I'm coming down from the peek of the pain. Shortly before this dream I did join online dating but haven't actively gone out with anyone yet.Thank you for your further explanation. I felt the dream haughting me because I wasn't able to understand the message that was trying to be delivered.

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